Ocean of regret

Are you out here? On this particular vast ocean that never seems to end and you can't even see the shoreline anymore? Where you just drift, day by day, at the mercy of the winds and currents that you have no control over? Do you want that for your life? Most people can't get off the ocean because they allow the ocean to dictate what happens next and the past keeps them out there. I have never really lived with regrets, but I certainly take charge of what I want more than I ever did to guarantee I don't start now. I used to be one that would just let things slide, even if it bothered me or I disagreed with someone's opinion. Not anymore. In fact, DM told me that she has noticed that change in me since she has known me. I might get myself into trouble when I open my mouth, but I will not swallow any more regret for keeping my mouth shut. What regrets do you have? Why do you carry them with you? Because we think we have to, but we really don't. We are led to believe that we have to carry them along their best friend, guilt. Unless you find a way to let go of both, they will follow you along, just like a piece of ribbon on your pants, secured there only by the static that brought the two together. Get out of this vast oceean as it can lead you to drowning in self pity and sorrow. Swim to shore...use the oars you are given...but get off the water. Let go.

Being "gooey"

I was watching a movie this weekend and there is a line that I could not help but think about and needed to remind myself to write about. One character says to another, "...on the outside you are tough, but on the inside you are quite gooey." Yes, she said gooey. Maybe what caught my attention was that we don't usually hear the word, "gooey" said very often. I thought about me. I show the world my strength, my courage, my ability to stand firm when inside I might feel weak, feel fear, and want to run in certain situations. But I am learning. All the time. On the inside, at least lately, I have been quite "gooey". Admittedly so, when I let my walls come down. They came down a lot this weekend. I wish it was easier, but someone told me that she was glad that it wasn't. I guess if it was easier, everyone would do it. Then it wouldn't mean as much. Maybe I would've done it a long time ago. I am constantly reminded about what I have done and what I have yet to do and they are no where close to being the same. Sometimes, we have to be tough and stand our ground and when we are alone or with someone we unconditionally trust, we can be "gooey."

Rule #8 - Be Yourself

These rules are not mine. I did not write them, yet I do all I can to practice them at all times. In all, there are 22 Rules with Rule #22 being the most important. One day, maybe I will write about the others. Today, I am writing about Rule #8 - Be Yourself. Who are you? Do you know? So many years are wasted trying to be something or someone we are not. Why? It cannot be fun and certainly is frustrating and time consuming. We do it because we are afraid of letting others see who we really are. Are we ashamed of who we are? Usually, not. When you are being who you are...without gimmicks...without an agenda...without pretenses...you feel free. Instead, we spend our lives hiding, being afraid, and running from follow our hearts. It has to stop...someday. You and I cannot continue to chase our tails around in circles and hope to be somewhere different. Eventually, you have to want to stop chasing your tail. You are who you are and you have so much to give. You just don't know it yet. Allow your soul to fly and show the world what you can do. You can do anything. I have found that I am happier, love deeper, give more, and embrace my life when I am being me. When I laugh at a funny billboard or leave someone a message in a different accent, I am being me. When I write in my journals or on this blog, I am being me. When I cheer on my boys and encourage my husband, I am being me. When I give a friend a hug and tell them that I love them, I am being me. I will NEVER excuse myself for being me. It is all I have to give and I am going to do just that.