Where everyone knows your name

Who does not remember what this is from? Yes, "Cheers" where this is the theme song, and when Norm walks in, everyone says his name. Isn't that a great feeling? To be missed because you were gone for months as you recuperate from surgery? To receive invitations to lunch? I am from Southern California and it just blows my mind when this little town of 25,000 people are somehow connected by marriage, years of school together or otherwise related or known. I think there are no six degrees of separation here - it is more like 4. But I also wish I would've had something like that growing up. Where you can see the change of how the city has changed with newly paved roads (yes, I remember gravel roads when we first moved here), new businesses come to town, and progress as it changes the residents. I moved around alot when I was younger and looking back, probably was not very grounded to one location. To some people, that is hard to comprehend because that is all they have ever had. They grew up in one place, went to school in one place, went off to college, to come back to live in that one place. That wasn't me. But everytime, I visit family, I cannot wait to get back home. This is where I have lived for almost 14 years now and I love it here. This is where I am most comfortable. I like knowing that I can walk into one of the local restaurants or stores and maybe run into someone I know, but also know I might not. I get that feeling every time I walk into Rock's store...she always says the same thing - just like it was the someting the Seven Dwarfs would say. Don't get me wrong - not everyone knows my name, but they might know one of my sons, or my husband. They might know my neighbor or someone I work with. That's what I am talking about - those degrees of separation that are alot closer than we think. Who knows your name? Is there a place where you live that you can walk into and know "I belong here." Someone told me she learned that lesson several months ago when not one person acted like they were glad to see her after being gone. Not one. Sometimes the words not said say more than we think they will. When someone you love and care about stops by to pick up a piece of chocolate from your office, use their name. I love to be able to call people by their names - it connects me with them and I want to be able to do that, even at different levels. If you know how this makes you feel when someone calls you by your name, return the favor. It has been said that "What's in a name?" but sometimes it means much more than we think it does. It makes us feel that we belong, that we are loved, that we are home. Nothing is better than that.

Find your tribe

I have often wondered where I belong, never really believing that it was ever right. It never felt "right". Maybe you are not sure either. Listen...we all are there at one time or another. Where we are the orange in a bag of apples. But you KNOW it when it is right. Something just clicks. You don't have to try very hard, if at all. Kind of like me and Rock. I grew up in Southern California and never felt that I belonged there. In fact, if you did not know better, most would say they would have guessed that I was born and raised in Nebraska. Apparently, I do not "act like I am from California." Maybe it is because I do not say, "dude!" or "like" all the time. However, I do catch myself with a few surfer slangs with "tubular" and "awesome" from time to time. You know what they say, you can take the girl out of California...I remember moving here in the middle of January, not knowing another soul besides my husband, 1500 miles from my family, and pregnant. He travelled three out of four weeks of the month, so I was alone most of the time. My family was my tribe and I missed my sisters and maybe the weather, too. It is imperative that we have a sense of belonging to anything...a team...the G.I.F.T....a family...a church. It is what grounds us with like minds and like goals. The good of the group was always put forth as the most important goal with true tribes and that is still true today. I know it is a cliche, but there is no "I" in "TEAM." The tribe you belong to may not be the one you think you should be with; as the group changes, so will you. Just know that when you find it, it will be one of the easiest things you carry with you from that point forward. Because you are no longer alone...you have someone right beside you every step of the way.

When you belong

We all know what it feels like when you belong to something. In turn, we all know what it feels to be exluded from something. At times, we can do all we know to do and it still doesn't fit "just right", for whatever reason. Other times, we expect it to just fit from the get go, as if we have nothing to do with it. I think it feels best when you belong to something that is even bigger than you can imagine - so big that just the mere possibilites cannot be comprehended at this moment. We all belong to groups - our families, our neighborhoods, our religions. But is that just a way to identify us? But do we feel more connected when we belong with our hearts? With our soul? So connected that it is impossible to imagine being disconnected from it? Close your eyes...breath slowly and purposefully. Where do you belong? In the life you currently have or in one of your dreams? You will know when it is the way it is meant to be...you just will. You will trust your instinct like never before. Deep down, where we rarely go, in the most sacred of places, we crave to belong. We yearn for it so much that it can make a broken person whole. I read a couple of months ago about a family that adopted a man (early 20's) to be a part of their family. He is a part of that family because he had none of his own. Can you imagine what that must feel like? It almost stuns me to think of how far I have come when I lay it all out there. I have been lost and detoured on roads towards what I thought was my final destination. I have taken a few wrong turns and have found myself surrounded by disappointments. I have come to a complete stop when it seems like nothing, really nothing, would get me moving again. I have crept along ever so slowly hoping no one would notice me. I have gone so fast that I did not appreciate what I was passing by. We have all been on these roads and others like it. Right now, I am just skipping along - faster than a crawl, able to see hazards, and slow enough to view what is before me. Skipping reminds me of my younger days when life was carefree and joyful...because it just was. My instinct to skip is like a second nature and doesn't really require any thoughts - it just happens. That is when I know, for sure, that I belong to something bigger than myself and I know you want it to!!!