Changing lives begins with mine

Who would've thought that my life would turn out the way it is right now? My belief was always that I would take what was there, never really understanding that I could change it. I had to accept whatever was given to me and it was the way it was meant to be. I had a nice lunch yesterday with LL (I remember her name -- LOL) as we talked more about how our childhood and past really dictate some of our biggest fears that we carry later on in life. The funny thing is that you don't have to come from a broken home with no money to have the same fears of unworthiness and self-doubt. We all question where we belong, what scares us, and what we believe about ourselves inspite of our environment. That tells me something that is universal - we all have fear and question if what we do matters and makes a difference. I think now we are at an age when we will see it in our kids and want to try to help them get passed where we still are in our own lives. We want them to learn the lesson about hope and courage and passion earlier than we did (or are doing) in our 30's and 40's. We need to take on the committment and willingness to help those around us by guiding them into changing their lives and we can do that in the most simplest of ways...we change our own life. We cannot control what other people think or feel in thier lives, but we can impact them in greater ways than we ever imagined. I have changed my life (for good) over the last 18+ months and have noticed how that has impacted my relationships with other people, what dreams and goals I have for myself, and realized what I am capable of doing. But it started with me. When I started this blog, it was for me. I started looking at life in a way I never had before and it made me feel better about who I am and what drives me. Then I started saying, "Yes" to more things in 2010 than I probably ever had before. I began to let people see more of me and let the walls down. I started a very intense exercise program because I had to do it for me, not for Rocky. I still do it for me, but love it when she is with me. My heart started to tell me things that I had ignored and dismissed for years and I finally started to listen. I realized that I did not need to have everything planned out and that some times "Going with the flow" was ok, too. I was paying attention to what I thought was missing in these teenagers' lives that would be easy for me to incorporate, but could not at work. Then, the bigger cry was heard - the women who are just like me. Women who are trying to find their way, after feeling lost and alone for so long. I am taking on a new project that will be gratifying to those it touches and hopefully they will begin to change their lives. They will see the hope and dreams they have long forgotten. The biggest joy I have ever seen is seeing someone I love live their dream. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that? Change your life and you could very well change the lives of others as well. It Starts with you.

The Best Day

I am not even sure where to start, but I think the stars were aligned today. I still have a smile on my face as I think about all of the fun Rocky and I had today. When was the last time you could say that you had a great day? Are you waiting for it to come to you? It won't. You have to go get it. You have to choose to do fun, crazy things that people would just question you that you really did it. Yes, we have pictures. No, you will not see them. Even when we messed up and made fools of ourselves, we did not care who was around us or what they thought. We were "going with the flow" and having a blast. We laughed so hard at inside jokes, cold cracks, and playing tic-tac-toe. It was simply awesome. What makes you happy? What gives you a smile? Do you seek that and take time for it? YOU NEED TO!!! With life being chaotic at times, and unplanned, and with tons of responsibilites, you need to remember to have fun, even if it means you go back to your childhood when playing games like Jacks and Hopscotch was how you would spend your day. Sometimes, we have forgotten what it is like to have fun, have no fear, and just go in the moment. We must get back there at times...even momentarily. Doing so replenishes you and gives you enormous energy to tackle whatever is in front of you now. Promise yourself to take time for you and laugh, enjoy great friends, and live your life. You get one chance and you want to love it. Dig deep into your past and find those little snapshots of joyfulness and giddiness and being young at heart. We went there today and as much as I would not wish to going back to being in the 7-12 year old age bracket again, it was absolutely priceless today at 42. It was the best day I have had in a long time. Thanks, Rock.

Childhood came today

Today, Rocky and I went to run, but ended up talking and walking. We get different things when we are together in the morning. When we run, we get into shape and work on getting to be where we want to by physically. On our walks and talks, we learn more about each other and laugh and share life's trials and goofy stories and happenings. Our walk today started a little later than normal and it was a nice change to see the sun come up instead of always being "in the dark". As we approach a neighborhood park, she says, "Do you know how long it has been since I have been on a swing?" So, I said, "Let's go" and we got on the swings. I am sure that if anyone was watching these two 40+year old ladies get on the park swings, they must have thought it was quite funny. And then we talk and swing and talk and swing. Like we were 7 or 8 years old. Funny thing is that we did not know each other then, but it was like we went back to that time. Like we would have been friends even then, and it would have seemed normal. A time when life was simple and there were no worries, no responsibilities, just in the moment of life, whatever that would bring you. As we moved our legs back and forth and as we went higher in the air, I slightly laughed to myself as how we got there. After we got off, we decided that the seats were not very comfortable and might not be build for mature people like us. Maybe the seats are for 7 and 8 year olds. It was a special moment, and one that I will never forget. For a few minutes, it was like two little girls were doing what we would have done had we met many years ago. Talking, laughing, and swinging on park swings...like 7 years old girls do. Thanks, Rock, for taking us back to a much simpler time...if even for a few minutes.