Monday, December 12, 2011

The Jolt

You know what I'm talking about? When you get that little knock upside the head that kind of gets your attention? Sometimes it even blind sides you? Where you just need to focus more on something else that what you have been focusing on? I got that last week. it has been a long time coming, but it was something I held on to, thinking I could keep it safe. But, I had to let it go. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But the Jolt wasn't the letting go, it was the faith that came after I let it go. The Jolt was the realization that I could never keep what I wanted UNLESS I let it go. And I made that choice. This is part of that rollercoaster ride of life we are all on, and I must be on some part of the track I didn't see around a corner, because I never saw this coming. But it is here and I cannot ignore it. Every day, the reflection of the choice becomes easier and easier, even though it is not a decision I would have ever thought I would have to make. The Jolt forces me to look for that which I cannot see, but can only feel. It reminds me of what I know to be true, even when doubt tries to creep in and tempt me with questions. The Jolt keeps me grounded to everything I believe and that is what keeps me going. The Jolt is a test to gives me courage and makes me find strength I never thought I had. The Jolt is here for a reason and I will follow its lead, not knowing where are headed, but because I believe in the letting go, I also have to believe in the coming back. Whenever that day may be.

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