Expectation and Disappointment

There is no one in this world that has not had both of these in their lives at one time or another. Expectation is what comes before and sometimes, there is disappointment after. Whether it is trying out for a select baseball team that you don't make because your skills don't match the quality of the team. Whether is the job you interview for and walking out thinking you nailed it, but you didn't. Whether it is the washing machine that just stops before the spin cycle so you have to wring out your clothes. Whether it is the hours we spend exercising at the gym only to find out we lost 2 pounds. Whether it is words not said or deeds left undone. It can be very difficult not to have some expectations, isn't it? How do you completely have none? We have expectation because something is desired and wanted from the action we are taking. Or we place those expectations on somethone else, and they don't even know it. We are hoping for our desired outcome. But, as we all know, at times, disappointment comes instead. When our sails seem to deflate and we lower our head just a bit and everyone seems to know what that looks like. Some people carry disappointment with them for a very long time and it becomes a part of their heart. But disappointment hurts, but we control how long it hurts. Excuses become reasons for everything. We have all been there. So, if there are expectations that you have, try to let go of them. I know it's hard. "It will happen as it is meant to happen." When you get disappointed, try to let go of that as quickly as you can too. Everything happens for a reason. Work on being a better baseball player...figure out what you could've done so you get the next job...maybe you get a new washer out of it...try a different exercise and see if that changes things...forgive those for the words or deeds they have forgotten. We all share these same moments in our life and need to remember that like most things, they will come and go. HAPPY FUN DIP WEDNESDAY!

Expect too much

I expect too much of myself at times. Not because of external pressure, but because of self-imposed pressure. Trying to be too many things to too many people and I forget to put myself first sometimes. I need to remember to forgive myself when I do accomplish all that I set out to do and be glad of what I did get done. Do you ever do that? Why do we do that? Because women try to do it all. I noticed this when I was cleaning up the dishes (after I cooked dinner) and my kids disappeared to resume whatever video game or TV show they were watching before dinner and my husband read over the sport page. I was not feeling the best and was not at the top of my game, but still got through...doing what needed to get done. Even when I had some "free time" this week, I did not use it the way I should have and felt like a failure as I looked at that as a missed opportunity to accomplish some tasks that are desperately in need of attention. I have to remember that I am no go to others unless I take care of me first. How do we find the balance? We have to learn "70 x 7" - and mean it. Not just say it. Do you know what that means? They say it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves. However long it takes us to forgive those that have hurt us, it takes us "70 x 7" times to forgive ourselves. That is sometimes easier said than done. I cannot go back and undo the time I lost, so I have to move ahead. Today is a new day with new hours that have been given to me and I need to use them the best I can. This week, I received an answer I have been waiting for over the last 6 months or so. Although it was not the answer I expected, it was an explanation. With this new information, I will adjust to what needs to be done and with that may come a few apologies to myself. I need to hear that it was ok that I fell short and I will pick it back up tomorrow or when I can. Don't expect too much -- chances are if you do, you will be disappointed. You need to be forgiven as much as the next person. You need to be willing to accept the apology, regardless of who is giving it.

Got burned

Last night, I received some disheartening news. One of the kids I have worked with received new criminal charges. I am not supposed to know so when he tells me for himself next week, I am to act surprised. I am still upset, but ultimately he made a bad choice and now he will have to deal with the consequences. You may be asking yourselves, "Why is Michelle putting this negative stuff out there? This is a motivational blog." This is why - this is a check for me. I need to read my Mission Statement every day. It is what helped me stop being angry and disappointed last night when I got the news. Because I like this kid and want him to succeed, I felt like he didn't care about what I might think about him doing something wrong. Truth is - it's not about me. Then, I had to ask myself, "Would I have done anything different with this kid had I known he might make this kind of choice?" Maybe - but I didn't know and I had faith in him that he would make good decisions going forward. I love my job and working with the kids and even though I cannot change them all, I am reminded of the "Starfish story". In short, this little girl come along this beach and finds all of these starfish on the shore and she picks each one up and throws it back into the ocean. An older gentleman comes upon her and tells her that she cannot possibly save them all. She very simply tells him she will try to save all she can. She keeps trying and giving it her all. Even though I got burned, I will continue to do the same. Sometimes we get burned to see what we are made of - whether we are in it for the short run or the long haul. I'm in it for the long haul.