Can't wish for what you want

You can't hope for it, either. Doing all the wishing and hoping doesn't get you any closer to what you want...it can leave you empty. Only if you let it. What do you want? What are you willing to do to get there? Are you willing to take night classes for two years so you can get your degree and move onto a better job? Are you willing to take a second job to pay for your daughter's dance classes? Are you willing to allow yourself to want something different? I was talking with LP yesterday at work and when people say they want something, they are afraid to admit it outloud for several reasons. One, they are afraid they will be wrong...no one likes to fail, espeically in front of others. I know I am guilty of that one. Second, they don't want to be accountable to anyone...someone might actually encourage them to make a change and that can be frightening. Third, they are afraid to commit...what happens if I change my mind? Today is a special day for me...today is the 2nd anniversary of when my life took a hard left to some place I did not know I was going and have been traveling this road ever since. I did not see my life as being here, right now, when I got up on January 4th, 2010. It was going to be like any other day, or so I thought. Needless to say, I am not in the same place I was, nor am I the same person. In two years, I have allowed my heart to feel like never before and have set aside the walls I had spent a lifetime building. I have given more than I ever thought I could. I have dedicated to people that I am truly grateful to have in my life and use Rule 22 as a guide in telling them what they mean to me. I have used the words I know to share ideas, thoughts, and perspectives on this blog as it has become an online journal of life as we know it. No, I could never have wished for this, but I am humbled that He had to show it to me and I had to trust it before I would fully understand that this is indeed what I want. Thank you.

All we ever hoped for...

Have you ever hoped for something, not even really sure that it will come and when it does, that it is actually more than you ever thought it could be? I remember when my husband was first thinking about moving us from Southern California to Nebraska and what that life-changing event would be for me. I mean, I seriously could not tell you where Nebraska was on the map. So, I recall making a pro-con list to help me see the things that would affect my decision and how my life would play out. The con list had many things on it - the weather, away from family, no friends, no job, the list went on. Then, I looked at the pro side of the list - other than my husband's name, I could not find anything else that would be good about this move, because I did not have any good "for sures" about moving. But we did. We moved in January, I was 4 months pregnant, and Mike travelled 3 weeks of every month. I knew no one. I was homesick and could only clean a one-bedroom apartment so many times, you know? As I reflect on those days now and think about where I am now, I have more than I ever could have hoped for. My life has not been perfect by any means, and I have made my share of mistakes. But I have a husband who loves me, three wonderful sons, a job, a place to live, a little money, and people that love me. I have a dream (thanks, MLK Jr) that I am following and listening to and letting my heart be my guide for the first time in my life. I have this blog and readers from across the globe that allows me to express myself in such a simple way. Friends have come out of the woodworks as I have let the world see more of me - the true me - in more every day aspects of my life. I give to those around me and love every minute of it. I have a Rock - who is there unconditionally and I cannot imagine her not being here as she helps me be better every day. I have you - whoever you are - and the aspiration to give more and make a difference in people's lives. This life (so far) has not been what I hoped for...it has been so, so much more. What have you hoped for? Has it comes true? Why or why not? And it continues.

Hope

Hope is a wonderful thing and what keeps us going when we feel like there is nothing ever to look forward to in our future. Do you have hope? Do you believe in hope? If you have no hope, then you will forever be stuck. Hope is defined as, "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best." Do you find hope even in circumstances that look bleak? Hope is strength in times that are difficult. Hope is the belief that what you desire will occur. Hope is love given to someone who doesn't deserve to be loved. Hope can move people to do things they never thought possible. What do you hope for in your life? I hope I live a long time and somehow make a mark on those that I can affect positively. I hope by changing my life that teenagers and women can be committed to seeing that they can tchange their lives as well. I hope my family is healthy and I have enough to afford me life's simple pleasures. "Hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies." - from the movie, "Shawshank Redemption". Hope is living within you all...when the situation arises, you will find it and it will make you believe in tomorrow. Let your heart lead and it will never lead you astray. Hope is the promise that tomorrow will be there, just as you expect it to be yet it is not concrete as to how it will show up. You have to believe that anything is possible. You have to trust that it can be different. Hope can take you there...let it. Always have hope. Don't ever give up hope.

Ambassador of Hope

It has been time since we went to worship, but we went tonight. Whatever your religion and however you worship, I hope it brings you calm in an otherwise chaotic world. It always makes me feel better after going. The message today was joyful and mentions that we are Ambassadors of Hope when we sit in the emergency room, waiting to hear about a friend's loved one; when we send a card to a family member just to say you were thinking about them; when we tell our story to others. Hope makes us believe that there is a tomorrow after today might have been the toughest day of your life. I cannot imagine what that must feel like having hugged a friend tonight who just buried her husband this morning. One of the songs they played tonight was "Lean on Me" and it reminded me that we all need to lean on others and allow others to lean on us too. Another woman shared how she lost her daughter in November to an illness, but she still carries hope. Even in tragedy, when we think that there is no deeper hole to be in, we can find hope. Hope in the kindess of strangers; hope in a smile from a friend; hope in a hug from someone you want to get to know better. When the decisions we make find us in circumstances we never hoped to be in, we have to find hope. It will define our character and mold us to appreciate what is really important. I dropped to my knees today and was humbled when I looked at what others are going through compared to me - there really is no comparison. Times like these remind us to be grateful and to find blessings where we are because they do exist. Show the world that you are thankful for your life and continue to show the world hope by your grace and forgiveness of others. Be ambassadors to each other, around the world. Together, we can change the world.