Wouldn't it be cool if?

In less than two weeks, I will be standing in front of 300+ people giving a 15 minute speech. I have never done anything quite like this, but I am really excited about it. Rock and I picked out the outfit I am going to wear and it seems so far away. Yet, I received a text from a wonderful friend, DP, who said she received a letter describing what will be happening the night of my speech, but she did not know I was going to be there. Then, I started thinking how cool it would be if that one event launches the rest of the events that are scheduled to take place, but I just don't know about them yet? I have several readers across the globe, and I think it would be cool to actually meet some and give them a taste of me in person. How cool would that be? I think that would be extremely cool!! I also thought it would be cool to take some time to write a book as well. I don't know where this road is taking me, but some things just give me great goosebumps and I can't help but get excited. There are other doors I am knocking on, but haven't quite opened the way I expected, but that is ok, too. Riding the rollercoaster every day with no expectations, but appreciative of what life has in store for me that day. There are lots of cool things going on right now, but there are some other cool things that I think are in the works too. Wouldn't it be cool if this starts the next revolution? I would love to meet Oprah and see if we can change the world. Still cool to think about, even if it never comes true.

All we ever hoped for...

Have you ever hoped for something, not even really sure that it will come and when it does, that it is actually more than you ever thought it could be? I remember when my husband was first thinking about moving us from Southern California to Nebraska and what that life-changing event would be for me. I mean, I seriously could not tell you where Nebraska was on the map. So, I recall making a pro-con list to help me see the things that would affect my decision and how my life would play out. The con list had many things on it - the weather, away from family, no friends, no job, the list went on. Then, I looked at the pro side of the list - other than my husband's name, I could not find anything else that would be good about this move, because I did not have any good "for sures" about moving. But we did. We moved in January, I was 4 months pregnant, and Mike travelled 3 weeks of every month. I knew no one. I was homesick and could only clean a one-bedroom apartment so many times, you know? As I reflect on those days now and think about where I am now, I have more than I ever could have hoped for. My life has not been perfect by any means, and I have made my share of mistakes. But I have a husband who loves me, three wonderful sons, a job, a place to live, a little money, and people that love me. I have a dream (thanks, MLK Jr) that I am following and listening to and letting my heart be my guide for the first time in my life. I have this blog and readers from across the globe that allows me to express myself in such a simple way. Friends have come out of the woodworks as I have let the world see more of me - the true me - in more every day aspects of my life. I give to those around me and love every minute of it. I have a Rock - who is there unconditionally and I cannot imagine her not being here as she helps me be better every day. I have you - whoever you are - and the aspiration to give more and make a difference in people's lives. This life (so far) has not been what I hoped for...it has been so, so much more. What have you hoped for? Has it comes true? Why or why not? And it continues.

I LOVE my life!

I know that seems like a given, but I am not sure I could've said it a few years ago and really meant it. Sure, there are things that don't go my way or I wish were different, but I love where I am and where I see myself going. I have NEVER been so confident about things that are happening and just are than I am right now. NEVER. Maybe it was because I just showed up when life showed up, and that is all I thought it ever took. Truth is, you get what you put into it. I didn't put very much into it before and I saw the results. It frustrates me now as I look back on it and I could carry a ton of regrets. But that gets me no where and keeps me there. I was never sure of what "I brought to the table" so I wasn't going to be sharing that with too many people. Ok...maybe no one. I had a lot of walls up. Did I say a lot? Ok, just checking. Even my family has never seen me like this until now. I kept it hidden from the people that mean the most to me, until some time in January 2010 when something happened. I began to WANT to live my life and share it with everyone. And not just want to live my life but decide how I lived it. Then, something completely unexpected changed my life forever. Someone new came into my life and I had to trust her - like I had NEVER trusted anyone before. Boy, was I afraid. Lots of times. And she knew it. Slowly, I put the walls down and, little by little, shared with her who I am. The simple, unconditional gesture of her givng me her heart encouraged me to entrust her with mine. I have more people that truly care about me because I have allowed them to care than I ever did before. It has not always been easy, because I never thought anyone did. I never did that before. My life is crazy at times with work, family, schedules, bills to pay, friends, and this as well. But I have never been more grounded than I am right now. There are days when I want to throw in the towel because I think it is too much. But nothing makes me more focused than when I have lots to do and not any more than the 24 hours that we have to do it in. I guess I had better find time to sleep in there, too. Let me ask you something...do you LOVE your life? What do what to change in it? Maybe everything is going really GROOVY right now, and you're not sure how it can be any better. Guess what? It can ALWAYS be better!! I wish there was a "shaking head in disbelief" way to tell you that I couldn't pick to be here, but I have to be here. This is part of my journey. And I have to say, I LOVE it. It is not perfect. It brings much more joy than I ever could've imagined and continues to amaze me. Every day is not the same as the previous one and yet I have learned to treasure each one as they go by way so fast. If you are one of those that said you don't love your life, what are you doing to do to change it? You too can love your life but you have to have the right attitude and then put forth the effort. It will not just happen. It is a choice you make. So...what are you going to do? Live your life and love it or sit on the porch and watch it go by? "You will never change your life until you change your choices." I have made my decision. Now is the time for you...CHOOSE!!

It just keeps getting better

When Rocky and I miss a day or two, we have to catch up on everything that has happened. It sounds weird, but we both have a lot going on right now and when our heads are spinning all the time, it is hard to remember one day to the next. I skipped again today during our run as I told her about what happened yesterday and even though it was new and exciting and I have no real "plan" of what I am doing, I LOVED IT!!! Loved it, loved it, loved it. Did I say I loved it yet? Ok...moving on. Yes, lots to do, but there is a reason it is coming now. I am supposed to do it now. He sees what he has in store for me and although I cannot yet see the path before me (not even people sometimes at 5am - LOL), I have complete faith in it. It cannot be explained, and I am not even sure that I would want it to be. New doors and excitement are being generated by people around me that I never allowed in previously and we are all moving forward together. We see our hearts leading us like never before and we will change the world for the better. No matter what comes next, we will be ready for each challenge with support from one another and will overcome each one. We will be stronger because of what we must do. We will love more than ever before. We will see our lives like we never envisioned. Embrace life...change yours forever and you will never regret it. Life just keeps getting better. LOVE IT!!!