Believe

What do you believe? How strong are your beliefs in determining what you can and cannot do? Can beliefs make you stronger or weaker? It all depends. It amazes me what people are able to accomplish when they believe they can accomplish something. It is that determination that makes them almost invinsible and that is so powerful that it can move anyone to change. I used to doubt what I was capable of when it came to doing something good because I did not believe that by my being me, I had the ability to impact others' lives in a positive way. After all, I was just letting people see me and I allowed myself to put down walls that I had spent years building. I know I surprised someone earlier this week with a hug when she and a friend dropped off some donated food and Christmas gifts to our office. I am not sure what JH thought, but she saw more of what I believe in with the giving of my hug. I believe that we want to give more, but not because of the time of year it is, but because we want to live with no regrets. I believe that sometimes we have to struggle and learn from issues we don't want to face because it will be better for us having gone through it. I believe that we all have a purpose and we can take what makes us happy and give that same joy to others. I believe that we all are very much alike in so many ways, but may not be geographically near each other. We all feel sorrow and grief when a loved one dies...we all feel love when a new baby is born...we all have the same emotions. I believe that I am here, now, for this reason and have to continue my journey. Even though I do not have all of the answers and know not where I am headed, I believe I am headed in the right direction. I believe that you can CHOOSE how to live your life, regardless of your past and can change how you perceive people and events that you encounter. What do you believe? Do you have to see something to believe it? I was reminded yesterday about something I wrote over a year ago when I was out of town for a girls' weekend. "It is not about the times we are together. It is not about the times we are apart. It is about the way we are forever connected at the heart." That is what I believe. Use your beliefs to keep you strong and centered when you think your world is crashing down around you. Believe that you are more than you think you can be and when the time is right, you will prove to everyone that you are more. Believe that you matter to people and influence them in ways you could never even imagine. Believe that those simple words and those few moments will leave an impression that will never be forgotten. Believe that your legacy begins every day, with your bringing "YOU" to the table. Believe that you are loved and cared for, even when you think it would be impossible to do so. Believe that this is your journey and that I am right here, beside you. Believe that when you BLOOM you create beauty that makes my world better. Believe that no matter what, I am still here. Believe that there is no amount of doubt that could ever take you down, because I want you to know that above everything else, I believe in you. Always.

That thing you do

Nothing makes me happier than watching people do their thing. I love to watch my husband coach baseball. He loves it and he BLOOMS when he does it --for those of you that know him, please do not tell I said that. He doesn't read this so I know I am ok to post this here. I love to watch our middle son play the guitar; I love to watch our oldest show off his nursing skills and play baseball; and I love to watch our youngest son playing his sports and singing in show choir. Have you ever really seen people you love DOING THAT THING THEY DO?? Isn't is awesome?!? Watching other people shine is FANTABULOUS!! I love watching my sisters tend to their kids; I love watching Rock help others with their fashion sense. And I get to be a part of it. I could sit back and watch people do their thing all day. I forget when I am doing that thing I do, because it comes so naturally that I don't even realize it. What is that thing you do? Have you found it yet? Have you started looking? It is not difficult to find it, because you just have to answer some questions and then it happens. Without any warning, it comes to you and you know it is right. Because through all of the struggles, you still pick it because it is YOU. I did not know what my "thing" was until I was asked the question by you know who. Then, I had to answer it and not just say the words, but actually figure out what to do about it. I needed to tap into what I knew, what I thought would work, and most of the time, I threw my hands up in the air and just let things fall into place as they were meant to. That was really hard for me -- still is. I am used to trying to control things and when I can't, it feels like I am on the "teacups" spinning out of control. But when I am in the "zone", everything takes care of itself, even if I didn't plan it that way. You just never know when doing your thing inspires others to do their thing and so on and so on. So...DO THAT THING YOU DO!!!

Keep working it...

Gosh, it is so hard sometimes not to want to give up. To throw in the towel and just walk away. And be done. Forever. It doesn't matter what it is and sometimes we are faced with if come to that conclusion and there is no other way, WHEN do you decide to do it? When is the RIGHT time? Is there such a thing? What happens if you are wrong? I have said before to NEVER give up...not ever...even if it makes you raw and hurt. But what if you want something different now than you did before? Is it wrong to want that something different? Will others around you understand and support you because they love you? Even if it dramatically changes things? I will keep working it until I get told not to or the sign is so HUGE that I cannot miss it. I am not ready to give up. Is there something in your life that you want to be different, but not sure how? It doesn't have to be a big thing...start with something little and see where that takes you. I am in awe when spring comes (I say this as I look out and see snow everywhere) and the little seeds start to break free of the blanket of dirt that surrounded them and they grow. Every year, certain plants routinely return to BLOOM and show the world that they are still here after months of lying dormant, forgotten, and left unattended. Maybe that is a little how I feel...a little dormant, forgotten, and receiving little attention. But I will keep working it so when the time is right, I too can show the world that I am still here.

Today is your day

Tonight, as my husband was flipping through the channels waiting for his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers to start their game, he found a show with Shania Twain where she was singing a song titled, "Today is your day". Beautiful song. What I also found interesting is that her show was titled, "Why not?" -- do you know why that spoke to me? My theme for this year is the same..."why not?" I was recently told about the "Trek up the Tower" which is done in February as a fundraiser where people run up a high rise in downtown Omaha to benefit a non-profit organization. I have taken up being on the elliptical for the next three months or so (yes, they will be longest three months ever), but still want to challenge myself. Does something special have to happen for it to be "YOUR" day? I had so much fun surprising someone for her birthday as she didn't expect it, but I loved to see her smile. But, today is your day. Today is my day. Nothing extraordinary needs to happen and no one needs to sing to you, but every day can be your day when you BLOOM. When you know you are where you are meant to be, without question and without regret. You feel it. You become swallowed by the very surroundings that others just see as there. It becomes who you are and you love every minute of it. One of the very first ideas that came to my head when I started this journey was "It starts today." Today. I was quick to point out when it was someone else's day but never took ownership of my chance at having a day for me. But I deserve today. I am a great friend, love my family, and work hard at making this world better. And because of that, today is my day.

Leave your Mark

Do you know what this means? What is the legacy you want people to
remember about you? Leaving your mark doesn't have to be a big thing.
It can be the smallest of things. A few posts ago, I mentioned about
"It Matters!" and you have to still believe in the intention of
showing the world what you can do. I love to surprise people with
cards that come through the mail for no specific reason other than I
want them to know that they are important to me and I was thinking
about them. I am leaving my mark. My mark is not about the money I
might spend. It's about the time I spent thinking about them. When I
give a teenager words of hope and encourage them that they are so much
more than what is directly in front of them, I am leaving my mark.
When I speak from my heart and tell those I love exactly what I think
and want, I am leaving my mark. What do you want your mark to say
about you? That you are devoted to your family and friends and would
do all you could to keep them safe? That you gave away more than you
received? Remember, little things add up, too. Every great Redwood
tree grew from one seed. Just one. My greatest feeling is always
watching someone change before my eyes - not because I had anything to
do with that change - but because they chose it. Your mark can just be
what people think when they hear your name. It can be helping a small
child or someone older who can't quite get what they want. Take the
time to leave your mark on strangers as well as those you know. You
may forget about it in time, but once you have left it, it can never
be erased. You have left your mark forever on someone. Even when you
weren't trying to; when you get nothing in return; when you have
nothing to lose.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Today

Have you seen it? Really seen it? Then if you have seen it, have you been so there that you felt the same as they did? I did today. I saw true happiness and joy and elation. Nothing was going to stop her. ABSOLUTELY nothing. She was on cloud 9 and I was right along side her. I got to give a great friend a HUGE hug when she told me she did it. She took a giant leap and changed her life forever by choosing to let go of her past and look forward towards her future. A future I am not sure she believed she had, even a few years ago. She was going through the motions and existing. Today, she was thriving and living. No regrets about what has been done and no guarantees. I LOVE IT!!!! I have never seen her so excited, even though she said she thought was going to be sick while she made her announcement. But she did it. I am so proud of HER. I found myself getting smiles when I thought about it during the day. I could not help it. Still can't as I type this post. Today is her day. Today is the day she actively chose to act on her dreams and passions and is steps closer to making them a reality. Not baby steps, either. Giant leaps. Even one at a time moves you. She took a chance today and is definetely moving forward in a direction that she might not have ever thought she would take. Many years wasted on settling for what is instead of what could be had taken its toll on her and those that care about her. But not today. Today, she was not going to be denied. Today, I saw a her bloom like I have never seen before. I am grateful to her for sharing it with me as I would have never forgiven myself for not being there. Actually, if I had to compare, she might have shined brighter than the sun. It takes my breath away even now. You may wonder if you have seen this type of "light" before when someone you love changes their life forever. But understand this...it will not be mistaken for anything else because you will know it when you see it. And today, I saw it.

Constantly changing my thinking

I have been strong for so long and yesterday I was forced to let others help me. I hated every minute of it. And then some. The people that were with me know that I was nervous and my actions and words were probably results of not being in control of what was going on around me. I am better at giving my time, my energy, and focusing on others that I really struggle having attention directed at me, whether it is good or bad. Since I belive that "things are happening as they are meant to be", then I have to believe that everything before me...at this moment...is there for a purpose. It is something that I have to go through and learn from and believe in. I have to have faith in all that I know to be true and have to be willing to really give of myself in order for it to be different. For so many years, my thinking has been very one-sided - it has been keeping the walls up, to protect myself and being afraid. As much as I understand that I cannot go on living my life that way, it is hard to set aside so many years of doing it that way. I have to forgive those that take actions that might upset me, but they do it because they love me. I have to take to heart the consideration of others that might mean setting my own expectations away. I have not handled limitations on what I am capable of doing very well. I have always expected perfection and success at everything I did, regardless of what it was. I find myself in more situations recently where I need to stop (maybe slow down, because I never really stop)and think about what I want out of this life. I want to live a long time and give my heart to everyone and maybe, just maybe, allow you to see that your life can be different. I have said it so many times about "To get what you never had, you have to do something you never did." I am constantly having to change my perspective on life, in spite of what comes my way. People come into and out of our lives, jobs change, decisions have consequences. We have to learn to adapt, accept, and move forward as each new day comes. Be grateful for all that you have been blessed with in your life. Look for chances to bloom - it is spring and you need to keep changing if you want to grow.

Spring is new life

Spring is probably my favorite season, but it has new meaning this year. Last year, I was in such a whirlwind that I was not sure what was happening. I had words and phrases that would just come to me, whenever; I started running (at 5am needless to say); and my entire outlook on life dramatically changed. For the good. I never saw it before, but I love watching the flowers (remember the bud vs. bloom post) come up from the ground after a long sleep. That is where we are...ready to come out of our slumber and show the world who we are. The green grass represents growing and color where dull and drab was over the cold winter. We are vibrant and exciting and ready to let the world see us bloom. I have messed up in my life, but hopefully not so badly that I cannot fix it or will not be forgiven. Faith comes at this time of year as it is restored into most Christians as we celebrate Easter. Every flower is unique as each of us are and it is imperative that we take our call from Mother Nature and share our selves, without hesitation with everyone around us. You have been given a chance to change your life...are you willing to do it? What would you do if you were not afraid? We would probably do lots of things...but are you willing to try? Even if you could fail? Would you feel worse for trying and failing or failing to try? Now is the perfect time to start a new - to try something you never thought you would. Rocky and I just celebrated our 1st year anniversary from our first running morning. I remember being so nervous about what to expect, seriously thinking to myself, "What did I get myself into?" Taking a chance on something new, something completed off my radar at the time, makes me better. The other day, I was not feeling my MOXIE, and I had to ask someone, "How do I get inspired when I am so used to inspiring others?" D told me that I need to get inspiration from others, just like others do. I find inspiration in admiring people who are so committed to their dreams that they stop doing what was expected of them. They leave the job they were educated for and follow their hearts. That is inspiring to me - for someone to have that kind of courage to walk away and be firm in their beliefs. It is spring - what new life do you want for you? It can be done. Go get it.

Got your MOXIE on?

This post is going to be probably very short, but with a big message. Rock will tell me she has her MOJO back and I believe her when she talks about where she was, where she is, and where she wants to be. I love that she is so there. I was reading a book this week and saw the word, "MOXIE" and could not wait to write about it. I love that word - how fun does that sound when people ask you how you are or how your day is going and you reply, "I've got my MOXIE on!" Moxie is not a word you can use in an every day sentence without getting people excited. They will believe you when you say it. But the key is that you have to believe it in order for others to believe it. Isn't it just fun to say, "moxie?" Totally love it! Everyday, find a way to share your MOXIE with others - it is easy and will make everyone smile! Go on...get your MOXIE on!!

I GET IT!!! DON'T YOU?

Oh my gosh!!!! Have you ever just been sitting down, doing whatever, and then felt like something just whopped you upside the head?!? I totally could not stop smiling all day. I send an email to Rocky and just tell her, "I get it!" She replies that she is curious, but I tell her she has to wait...I have to tell her in person. I cannot wait to tell her - I know I can hear the excitement in my voice already and I haven't said a word. Let me back up and really set this up right, so you get the full picture. A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting Rocky in "her office" and she is helping me with some computer stuff so I can take the next step. I begin to tell her how much I doubt (remember - I really, really dislike that word) on what kind of changes I can make in other people's lives and what I am doing there, etc. It all comes out and she says that she believes in me and that I need to move forward. Over the weekend, I send her an email that includes the hesitation of my ability to help others change their lives and that fear is not what seems to be the problem anymore. I actually admit that although I cannot change others lives, I can change mine. Once I admitted that, the doubt disappeared. Ultimately, the choice to change your life is yours alone, although outside influences may lead you to choose that. Even though I have taken chances and new steps that may lead me into a new direction, essentially nothing in my life has changed yet. When we feel inspired, it is mostly as a result of something we saw, read about, or heard. It has been mentioned to me by several people that I can inspire others. But that choice of free will is still their choice. They have to allow that inspiration to get to their soul, before they will make any changes. I realized today that I had the wrong attitude. First and foremost, I must be inspired and motivated to change MY LIFE. Then, and only then, will that change inspire others to do the same. I have heard it over and over at the office since I have lost weight. "What have you done to lose weight?" "Tell me how you did it!" "If you can do it, so can I." I was carrying doubt that wasn't mine to carry. The only doubt that I need to carry is whether or not I have the ability to change my life, and I know I can. I proved it to myself when I took my less than perfect childhood and still believed in wanting more for my husband and children. I proved it by doing it my way, even though it was hard and frustrating. I proved it when I ran my way to be 35 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I have a sentence in my Life Statement that says, "I have control over how I choose to live my life." We all do, but do we really choose? Or do we just let it happen? You can choose. It was so hard to keep this to myself today...finding little moments to chuckle about how easy a revelation I had just found. Take a deep breath...do you get it yet? You can - it is possible!!

To be a bud or to be a BLOOM!

As I continue to grow in my ever anticipated yearning for life, I came across another quote that seems to sum everything up. I am paraphrasing, but simply said, "it is more painful to risk to be a bud than than the risk is to bloom." That got me thinking...when you see a bed of flowers just as they are emerging from the soil in spring, do we stop to think that the flowers are doing what they are intended to do? Do they wait until another flower pops its head or start to open? No, each flower is meant to bloom at a particular time, when it is right for that flower - that is its purpose. Have you ever tried to fence in a flower or shrub? Guess what happens? The foliage starts reaching for more and moving around obstacles put in their way makes the flowers choose another direction to grow. Like a detour sign on the highway. So many times, we try to fence ourselves in and try not to bloom because we don't want to be ahead of the other "flowers". But, that is not what we were meant to do. We are designed to bloom. Fear keeps us from many things - yet the flower knows no fear. If it knew a storm was coming that would potentially damage all that was beautiful about it, it would still bloom. It would not hole back into the ground where it would be safe and then grow again when the coast was clear. The more we are cautious and reserved, the less we live to our full potential. We have all seen those flowers that only part of it seems to grow the way it was supposed to and the then the rest of it just looks kind of odd, like it is not the way it is supposed to be. What usually happens is that those end up in the trash. We have to extended all of our petals, with the pistal (our heart)exposed ready to give it our all, without fear of what the other flowers are doing. All we can be is who we are, as God intended. So, I say, today, let's do our thing...and BLOOM!!!!!