What is given must be accepted

I am sure that I have written on this before, but someone (L) reminded me of this as I was visiting with her yesterday on the phone. She complimented me and I dismissed her, without even thinking about what I was doing. But she reminded me that I need to accept what is given, even if I think it is not warranted. Yeah...that happens a lot. I know she reads this and I will see her next week, so I am hoping she gets a little smile on her face knowing she prompted this post. I am a giver, and receiving has never been one thing I knew how to do very well. Still don't. But I am trying and getting better at it. I can help someone all day long, because they asked for it, but heaven help me if I would ever ask for them to help me. I have refused help even when I knew I didn't have another solution. I have been stubborn and pig-headed (like someone else I know) and was not ready to admit that I could not do it all. I always felt like I was bothering that someone else. Even when Rock first came at 5am - I mean, my losing weight should not be her problem and if I needed help in that department, how rude of me to ask someone (that I did not know well then) to get up at the hour to help me. But I had to let her choose and allowing that was very humbling to me. Still is to this very day. When someone gives us a compliment we are quicker to refuse that than we are a criticism. Why? Because we think we don't deserve it. Last night, I was told by someone who is becoming a great friend that I inspired her to take one step. I do not fully comprehend the effect that I have on others and am trying to be better at accepting those words when they are given. I sometimes think to myself that I am not doing anything different than anyone else would do. I mean, I am just being me and to me that is easy. So, when the kind words come your way, accept them graciously. Not doing so is a refusal of the intent in which they are given. Admit that you might be more than you think you are to those around you. I have to remind myself every day because otherwise, I could not accept what is given to me. Accept what is given and simply say, "thank you."

Outside the box

How many of us are living inside their comfort zone aka their "box"? How many times have we heard the phrase, "Go outside the box!" Even a fast food restaurant has used a slight spin of that phrase in one of its marketing campaigns. I know that staying inside the box, the vault, the cocoon, (etc) is safe - believe me, I have lived it most of my life. But what happens, if you step outside of the box? Even just baby steps can help the box get bigger or even change the shape of the box. The entire concept of the "box" is different for everyone. Maybe not everyone has a "box-shaped" box; maybe my box is bigger than your box; maybe its the other way around. We all have one - that is where it ties us all together. Some people like (maybe love?) skiing down a mountain after they have been lifted to that site by a helicopter. That is not for me, but for those people that is totally inside their box. I was visiting with a friend a little yesterday that I do not know very well. We have always chatted and enjoyed seeing each other whenever that happened, but never really made it an event until now (we are having lunch in April). I am living outside my original box, but my willingness to keep going outside my box makes my box bigger. Or maybe it just changes shapes. In talking to people, I notice how afraid we are of trusting others and therefore allowing people to see our true selves. Been there, done that. Not to say that I ever was dishonest about who I was, but was selective as to what people got to see of me. In talking with my friend yesterday, she said some very nice things about the way I make her feel when I see her. I did not realize that my continuing to go outside my box made her feel that way. I am just being me and letting more of the world see me, for who I am. My running with Rocky started with the most difficult question I have ever been asked, and it was asked by someone I had know about a month. She asks questions all the time now, so I am a little leary now.She asked, "WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE?" Exactly. Do you know where I am going with this? This is your question for the weekend...if you want to change something in your life, you have to admit that you want something different. Just wanting something different doesn't mean that it will happen, unless you do something different. Be brave today and go outside your box - even once, even if no one else notices. Journal what happened and look back it over the weekend. Find something else next week to expand your box - make it change shapes, do whatever needs to be done. Life is more fun when you understand that the size and shape of your box is limitless. But you have to be willing to go there.

Why not?

Last year in 2010, I designated that year as the year of "Yes" - meaning that I would be open to new ideas, new adventures, and be open to risk. This year, I have designated 2011 as the year of "Why not?" - why not try to go farther than I ever have gone before, why not take more risks and chances to make myself better in every way. I recently received the February 2011 issue of Oprah magazine and found an article I want to share with you written by Martha Beck. It talks about what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to change our lives. There are 20 total, but I have narrowed it down to the 6 that seem to mean the most to me. I have started a separate journal to write down my answers and may post my reflections of those answers in later posts.

Here are the questions that I am focusing on:
1. What questions should I be asking myself? (try for at least 3 questions a day)
2. Is this what I want to be doing?
3. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it? (live by design, not by accident)
4. How do I want to be different because I lived in the world? (in small ways or large, your life will change the world - in small ways or large, the world will change you.)
5. What do I love to practice? (Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this.)
6. Repeat again, is this what I want to be doing?

I have to believe that we all have a place and purpose and we all want to leave the world better than it was when we got here. It has been mentioned to me that people have noticed that I am different and am not the same Michelle. I agree with that statement, but think this Michelle is so much better than the old Michelle. I feel more than I ever have and am more of "me" than I have ever let people see before. Why not let myself follow my heart instead of tryng to dictate and plan my life? Why not figure out what feeds my passion and lets me "shine"? Why not try something new, even if it means I might fail? Someone once told me that whenever we try something new, that there are usually two feelings that go along with it - excitement and fear, but that she knew that she just had to try. I have to try at making this world better because I lived in it. I have to believe that I am better because of the world's experiences have brought me here. Why not ask questions that I have never asked before and not just stop there - I have to answer these questions if I expect anything to change. "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." Why not?