**FOR UPDATED POSTS, GO TO WWW.CONSTANTCHANGETODAY.COM**This journal is my way of sharing with you life's ups and downs and experiences we all go through. In life, there are no head starts or second chances as we all begin at the same place. Changing your life can be simple and it can start today.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Old habits are hard to break
Yesterday, my thoughts were that I was glad I finished the Corporate Cup and wasn't last. Then, last night as I was doing my sit ups, the old Michelle started to creep in. I told my husband that I feel like I should have run better. I had said I would be happy with whatever my time was and really, I don't care what the numbers are. Yet...the always striving to be better, striving for perfection, Michelle came to the surface. Everyone has been very supportive and I know that this old way of thinking is not right, but it has been a part of who I am for over 41 years. It is very hard to just make it go away. Even now, my thoughts are how many situps and pushups do I need to do a day so I don't feel embarrassed like I did last week when I couldn't do any. I know I push myself more than anyone ever could. For so long, I gave up on being better because it was so overwhelming and I probably didn't know where to start. Now, I have started somewhere and it is taking me some place I never thought I would be. I am grateful everyday for this chance to be more than I ever dreamed and will use this opportunity to expand my horizons. In my heart, I know it is ok. The problem is that my brain keeps getting in the way. Story of my life.
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