Funny thing....

Have you ever been just going on about your day, doing whatever you are doing, thinking whatever you are thinking, and then see something totally random but it is enough to catch your eye and then you look at it more and think it looks like a shape you recognize? How fun is that? That happened to me the other morning when I was out for my walk. Yes, I have cut down on some of my running, but at a minimum I walk about 5 miles a day. Rocky and I get to talking and then the running just doesn't happen. KITTY! This particular morning was just after an overnight rain and she was not with me. I usually still take our normal route, but like to mix it up on occassion. As I was listening to my wonderful morning "Get me inspired" music, I see a rain spot in the middle of the street that appears under my feet in the shape of a heart. No kidding - a heart! I actually walked over it once before my brain recognized it as something other than just wet pavement. Then, I backed up and took a look again and looked around the street to see if therewere others. There were none. As good as I was feeling about starting a new day with the sun about to rise, getting my exercise, loving life, and even being all alone, I felt the warmth that only love can bring. It made me smile. It still does. Look around...it might be right under your feet.

What would you do?

Yes, this is also the name of a TV show where uncomfortable situations and actors are there to see if the general public would react to something that is apparently very wrong, without knowing that they are on hidden cameras. If you were in a situation that you KNEW was wrong and the people that have the power to stand up and say something and stop it do nothing, what would you do? This was brought to my attention over the last week when I was told about someone who allegedly made racial remarks to another person and no one did anything. What happens when you are REQUIRED to put people in a situation that you believe will cause more harm than good? I cannot do that morally. I am struggling with this dilemma right now. I am not a military wife, nor do I completely understand their method. But if a ranking officer orders a soldier to do something, even if it is morally wrong, is that soldier obligated to follow that order? If he does, his heart will carry that guilt forever - knowing that he could have stopped some tragedy. If he does not, is he being insubordinate and face consequences? What happens in this case? Have you seen, "A Few Good Men" with Tom Cruise? Two marines are brought up on charges of murdering a fellow marine because their commanding officer ordered them to and although they are acquited of that charge, they go to prison for "conduct unbecoming an officer." What would you do? I cannot sit and watch this unfold and it makes me very angry that someone quit their job because someone else wouldn't do their job. Do you have the guts to stand up and do what is right, not what is easy? DO YOU?? Look hard at what you stand for...what you believe...what humanity expects...what character you possess. Is your MOXIE showing when you need it to show, more than anything? Above all? Good grief. What are you made of and what do think you will regret more - - saying something and knowing you were right or not saying anything at all? Either way, you will remember it for the rest of your life. And so will others that were also there. Doing the right thing when something is wrong says a lot about a person. Sometimes it says more than it should which is more than you ever thought it could. SHOW YOUR MOXIE!!

A New Beginning!

Today is YOUR day! Yes, I am talking to YOU! No, you do not need to look around to see if I am right behind you. But I am with you. Always. As I was on my morning walk (yes, I walked today as I do on some days), I was watching teh light orange glow of the upcoming sun crest over the roofs of the houses in my neighborhood. It is a new day. It has not been decided yet as to what will be in front of you or how things will occur, but you have some control of how you plan your day. Yesterday, I was asked if I was in a bad mood by someone I work with alot. i seem to really be picking up on the negativity and that gets old after a while. I told him, "no" because I wasn't and I was choosing to take on the day as it was before me. How do you want your day to play out? What are you doing to change your life? Have you done anything since you started reading? What holds you back? If it is just fear, then "feel the fear and do it anyway" - get on with it. Take a deep breath. Have faith in all that you are and are yet to be. Your day is today. Someone I know is starting her new journey and today is her first real day of that trek. She begins her new life and all that it has in store for her. I was a runner before I knew I was a runner. I ran away from life, never really engaged in it. Now, I run at it because I am not going to let it get away any more. How do you want to live your life? You can begin anew - you can take one step - you can. Have you ever seen, "Kung Fu Panda"? The premise is that this goofy, overweight panda is supposed to be the town's hero and fight the "bad guy". He keeps looking for the "secret ingredient" so he can make sure he has the right "recipe" so that he can achieve victory. The problem is that he keeps looking for it elsewhere...truth is, it lies within him. You are the secret ingredient for your NEW beginning. Once you believe it, you will have all the power you need. There is no need to look anywhere else. Your beginning starts today. Congratulations!

Glass half full

That so wasn't me. My glass was always half-empty. Pretty much. How full or empty is your glass? Regardless of what you think is in your glass, you know you can change it and you can cahnge how you look at it. Yes, it doesn't mean that things aren't there to make you want to look at what you don't have. Who doesn't do that from time to time? But it cannot be what grounds you. Just about every day, I see someone that I used to work with and am reminded of her attitude towards life - everybody is against her, she complains all the time, and she has the life she has because of some tragedy when she was younger. We all have a past and it is what we do with those experiences that determine what we do later. My mom told me this weekend that she was sorry for not being more to me when I was younger. I have totally fogiven her and told her that she needs to not live in the past. When I see my glass on my desk, either near full, half full, or not full enough it is a choice for me to see it that way. Usually when I think it is not full enough, I have to go get more water. I see what is in the glass, not what is NOT in the glass. And, then I just go get more. What do you see in your "glass"? If you think it is "not quite full enough", then go get more to fill it back up! If it is nearly full, be grateful for what is in your glass because that can change at any moment. Change your attitude to be positive and you will change your entire being. See it...done it...live it. It is Tuesday!

Be open...don't question

This should be one of my many daily mantras. God knows I need to tell myself this a lot. Everyday. Let me set this up for you so you get the full picture. Have you ever felt like you were picked last to play kickball when you were a kid? Now, regardless of whether or not you WERE picked last, did you FEEL like you were picked last? And not just one time....like all the time? So guess what happens? You begin to feel like you are last and deserve to be last. You are not worthy of more because if you were, then you would be picked somewhere before last. Someone should have noticed you and decided that you should not be last - at least not last all the time. Maybe not first, but not last. You become conditioned to that position and do nothing to bring more attention to yourself that being picked last doesn't already bring. You accept your role for what it is and even when you try hard to change your status, everything remains the same. Then, PUMA! (see previous blog). You show up to play, knowing your fate as it has been the same for so long, and you get picked first. FIRST! You think it is some joke that people are playing on you and you doubt and you question. Oh, and do you question. You question everything you thought everything was before this moment. Why you? Why now? What is going on? Lots of questions and yet no one seems to be able to give you an answer that makes sense to you. So you keep asking the same questions, hoping that someone else will have an answer some time. But the answers you are looking for never come. Here is the thing...they never will. You looking for them never is a guarantee that you will find them. You search for that which cannot ever be found because you seek something that is outside of who you are. You are you. This weekend, I received a text that included a message from someone that I have maybe spent six hours with total. How can someone that hardly knows me know what kind of "character" I have? Is it only because of the way I am depicted to her by a mutual friend that defines who I am in her eyes? I figured that I needed to spend more time with LR so that I can convince her that I am not worthy of the accolades that are coming my way. I actually told the mutual friend that she needed to stop lying to LR about me so LR's opinion of me would be more of what I think it should be. That I should be chosen last. And so I question...how can this be? And since I had accepted my "unworthiness" for the majority of my life, it is very difficult for me not to question. But I have to be open. Be open to what draws people to this blog...be open to new people and their perspectives...and allow that what I bring to the table to be enough. Even when I am not even sure of what that is on any given day. You cannot prejudge someone new because of the way you have been treated in the past. You have to let them choose. LET THEM CHOOSE! They have the right to have their own opinions and thoughts about what great qualities you have and you have to belive that they are true. Yes, I need to work on this too. Every day. Surrender to what life has in store for you...when you show up and just play. It is not where you were picked to play, it is that you were picked to play. Bring your "A" game. You were chosen for a reason. That is the only answer you will ever need.

3 in one week

I am trying to process it all, because I think it means something. Three young men that were once in my office stopped by to visit this week. Not to talk shop, but to visit with me. Two have stopped by before so I was not really surprised by their appearances, but the third one literally took kept me guesing. Those seemingly irrelevant acts lead to one conclusion. That what I say to these kids matters to them. And they remember it and want more. They have no official reason to need to see me and yet they still come. One of them asked me, "What did I do that was so great?" about what kind of an impact he makes in my life. He makes me believe that I provide a benefit to these young people that need someone to remind them of everything that is still in front of them. They cannot prejudge their future or think that anything is impossible because it has been tough to get them where they are right now. I cannot question what this all means, but certainly it leaves me with little question as to what I am being called to do. Have you ever been drawn to something but unsure why or what you were going to do when you get there? That is where I am right now. How can I even begin to explain to you what I am unable to understand myself? I shared more about my dream with another woman this week and she told me she was taking notes as I was talking to her on the phone. I asked her, "What did I do that was so great?" and she told me that she was going to use my "philosophy" at home and wants to visit more about the way I think. I sent her an email and that may open even more doors that I will walk through when the time comes. I am just in awe of what seems to be coming my way when I open myself up to all of the possibility of what is yet to be. No fear, just hope and the promise yet to be fulfilled. This seems to solidify what must happen next, although I do not know when or how. I recently finished a book that says once you find the "what" then the "how" will take care of itself in ways never imagined. I KNOW the "what" and these three young men validated that for me this week. Thanks, guys.

Dare to Live!

This morning, I was reminded of a child's game called, "Truth or Dare" and was thinking why did it have to be "or"? For those of you that are unfamiliar with the game, you sit with your closest friends and one of them asks you, "Truth or Dare?" and you have to pick one. If you pick "Truth" then, that friend will ask you a question and you have to answer it truthfully. Now, when you are 7 years old, answering a question about if you "like" someone else in front of others can be extremely difficult and possibly humiliating. However, if you pick "Dare" then you have essentially agreed to do whatever this person asks you to do. Maybe, it is going up to the person you "like" and telling them you "like" them. Equally difficult and possibly humiliating. Here is my secret...I never liked to play this game when I was a child. Are you kidding me?? My choices were: A) Be vulnerable or B) Take chances. Not part of my M.O., especially if I had a choice to join in or not. I chose not. But not today. Today, I was thinking that we can do both - we can do "Truth and Dare". When you choose the kind of life you want to live and take chances, and dare to live, then you are being truthful to yourself. You are not afraid of someone laughing at you or not seeing the same thing you see. Frankly (my dear), you get to that point in your life when you just stop caring about pleasing others first and start putting your desires, your dreams, and your life first. I had a really nice conversation last night with a new person I just met this week, and she asked me one question. "Tell me about yourself" was all she said. In 30 minutes, I tried to sum up everything that brought me to this very point in my life...where I come from, where I am now, and where I plan to be. In 18 months, I have finally learned to live. I have been dared by signs I cannot explain and by God himself to do what I am meant to do. Following my heart makes me finally be honest with myself and lets those people around me see the REAL me. It won't subside, regardless of what is in front of me right now. Where are you? Are you being truthful to yourself? Are you willing to take chances and dare to live YOUR life? Here is the secret...unlike the childhood game, you don't have to choose. When you choose one, you choose the other. TRUTH AND DARE!!

Be deliberate

I spent yesterday afternoon at a workshop that centers around my way of thinking, although I was there as a guest, not as a speaker. One day, not maybe one day, that will be me. There were opportunities for us guests to be engaged in the process and participate when asked so that we would "buy into" this philosophy. I was already there, but learned more about myself than I thought I would. I did not necessarily expect anything in particular, but enjoyed myself even though I was with complete strangers. As I listened to the "headliner" along with her new trainers, I began to feel my strength grow and it almost took me by surprise. There were two others ladies there that I will be working with very closely on a new project I am taking on and am very excited about its developement and implementation. As I sat there for several hours, I took some chances with no regrets, no walls, and really didn't even think about them after I took them. Not once. Because I was deliberate in my convictions, my passions and dreams were announced to everyone in that room. We cannot live a life of complacency and allow things just to happen. I have done that way too long and it takes you no where. And if you get there, you begin to think that you should have been there long before now, like you took the "slow boat." What do you believe in? What do you want out of your life? What are you doing (not willing to do or think about doing) to change it? A dear friend ended one chapter this week after 23 years and today she starts her next chapter of her life. She is CHOOSING TO BE DELIBERATE with her life and is living her life for her. Finally!! Things happen for a reason and because of that, they have specific purposes to serve - their functions are deliberate. You have to choose to live your life in a deliberate manor. You have to keep reaching for that dream that is just beyond your outstretched arm. You can see it, you can feel it, you can be it. What can you do to change your life forever? EVERYTHING! It starts with you. Always did and always will. When are you going to take a chance on you...because if you won't take that chance, why should anyone else? You have to KNOW that you are more than what you are now. If you cannot sell yourself, how can anyone else? Be deliberate in choosing the life you want and "run at it." Fun Dip Wednesday! :0

Can't Do It All

This was my way of life for as long as I can remember. I was predisposed to an environment that gave me no choice but to rely solely on me. No one else. I still fight this every day because it is so hard-wired into who I have been that it is hard for me to "over-ride" that part of the system. I told you about S.E.L.T. some posts ago and because of the Survival instinct that kicked in (at about 14 years old), I was determined to do the best I could all the time. Even now, people think I try to be "Wonder Woman" and they are usually pretty close to hitting the nail on the head. Do you ever have this thought in your head? Do you try to be everything to everyone all the time? You are setting yourself up for failure if you have this type of thinking. You cannot be everything to everyone all of the time. You are lucky if you are meeting that goal half of the time. Let it go. Yes, it will be hard and you will have to tell yourself this over and over until what really matters most to whom it matters when it matters will only be left. I may have to make decisions about some changes in my life that I never thought I would have to make, nor did I see that as something that I would not continue to be involved in for several more years. But as I look deeper at what I want, what really drives me and sends me almost skipping down the street when I share it with Rock, some things have served their purpose. We have to walk away from those things and those people that no longer assist you. Be willing to set things down that you no longer want to carry - eventually it will wear on you and no one looks good carrying all of that. That would be on an episode of "What Not to Wear". Don't deceive yourself into thinking you can do it all...you can't and the sooner you realize it, the better you will be. I promise.

When you find what you were not looking for

Have you ever been searching for something and not found it? Looked every where you thought it would be and still have been unsuccessful? From looking at the idea of something you thought was true only to find that your wanting something so bad actually clouded the true vision of reality? I usually do not run wearing my glasses or contacts, but can see colors and large objects. No, I have not run into a parked car yet. Plus, I have Rocky with me so she is my eyes. We have made some "running" friends at 5am and say "hi" to the regulars that we pass along our route. One morning, I happen to spot a dime in the middle of the road, almost right beneath my feet. Rocky laughed at me because she knows I cannot see but I could spot the smallest coin on the asphalt when it is dark outside. Then, a few feet later, she sees a penny that I passed right over and I pick it up. I found it ironic that those equal 11 cents - and this is the year of 2011. I kept those coins and will always keep them. Isn't that funny? Maybe what you thought you wanted to do for a career isn't what you end up doing because of choices you make and roads you have chosen you end up at certain doors. When you find out what you have been missing all along because you were looking for it in the wrong place, it can almost take you back. Like you are not sure what just happened, but you know it did. You may even look around to see if anyone else just witnessed what you did. Ok, maybe that is just me. When I started this journey back in January 2010 and really started to travel to places I never thought I would go, my vision of what was to be is no where close where I am now. When I went to lunch with Rocky in April of last year and when I committed to running twice a week, never did I think for one second that that she would change my life. Our original PURPOSE grew into something I don't think either one of us saw coming, but accepted with time and then our friendship grew into what we have today. How many times have we walked right past something and ignored it because we had our sights on something else? Something else we thought we needed? What about those things that fall into our laps, that make us question "why?" and "what is going on?" Be open to those ideas, people, and places that could change your life forever. Experiences and feelings newly found can be something that you never really missed because you never knew what it was like to have in the first place. When you open yourself up to taking chances and really living your life, then you will no doubt find those things bring you the greatest joy. I have grown more over these last 18 months than I can ever remember before. I will be honest - I have not been successful in finding what I was looking for as I have searched my soul recently. However, what I found instead has been more amazing, more rewarding, made me more vulnerable, and more willing to BLOOM than ever before. No regrets.

You are not your circumstances

I believed that for over 41 years, especially my younger years. My sense of security and belonging disappeared when I was seven and my parents divorced. Lots of you out there can relate, I am sure. Maybe you felt some of the same. Some of you may never know what it is like to spend every weekend at the cusodial parent's home, then the next at the non-custodial parent's home, with slight variations with or without your sibling. In the seven years in elementary school (Kindergarten through 6th grade), I went to five different schools. Only once I got to 5th grade, did I spend more than two years with the same classmates as we went through junior high and high school together. By then, some damage had been done. I see kids every day that come into my office that feel like they have no where to go, nothing to look foward to because of the life they have had so far. I thought about one young man in particular this morning on my run and saw no hope in his eyes the last time he left my office. I so wanted to tell him to not give up and that he is more than his circumstances. But I can't. This is my daily struggle...feeling like a bud that wants to bloom but is being held back by restraints that I had no control of putting there to begin with anyway. I am not my circumstances and neither are you. Whether that means you are in a love-less marriage, a kid looking for someone to be there for them, or sitting in a job you dread going to everyday. When you find the strength and courage to break out of your circumstances and be who you are then you become free. You can do anything...the environment you are in at the time is only temporary, but what you do with those lessons will change you forever. I am different from who I was two years ago, but I am not even sure I could explain it or nor would I ever want to go back there. Be brave and change your circumstances if it makes you unhappy. That is not who you are...you KNOW who that is. Be free.

Don't Ever

Don’t ever settle for something less if you want more.
Don’t ever accept failure as a reason to stop trying.
Don’t ever believe you are not worth it.
Don’t ever give up – even when you think you have nothing more to give.
Don’t ever let someone else tell you what you can or cannot do.
Don’t ever consent that others’ opinions matter more than your own.
Don’t ever live for another person’s dream.
Don’t ever question love when it is given freely.
Don’t ever doubt all that you are.
Don’t ever allow your past to dictate your future.
Don’t ever miss an opportunity to say, “I love you”.
Don’t ever forget to laugh or cry – and everything in between.
Don’t ever wonder why you don’t have all the answers.
Don’t ever have regrets. About anything. Ever.

Copyright pending 2011
June 15, 2011

Two hands, Part 2

When I was out for my run today, I kept remembering this picture that is on my wall in my office. I forgot to mention some of the things that two hands can do and what it means in my last post. I could have added it to my previous post, but thought it would be easier just to type a brand new post. A "knuckle touch" cannot be done nor is it as much fun unless you share it with someone else. You cannot give a "high-five" to yourself. It amazed me how much can be communicated with a simple touch like this and what it means. In times of nervousness and the unknown, someone holding your hand through scary times can make all the difference in the world. Even when you don't think you need it. Even when you think it seems silly or you didn't ask for it. Someone did that for me a couple of months ago because she wanted to make that time easier for me. I could have done it without her and never asked her to do it, but she did. I am not sure why. I felt safe and secure when someone is there with me. Love is transferred in this easy act, that we forget that sometimes. We try to make things fancy and super and that is not what it is about. It is about showing someone that you care and that you are willing to give freely of the love and tenderness you offer. There are some things that just cannot be done with one hand and other things can be done with one or two hands. Then, there are those things that can only be done with two separate, hands. Two hands reminds us that there are people beyond ourselves that are there for us and would do simple things to make it better, in good times and bad. As I said previously, two hands are always better than one.

Two hands

I was recently given something that I will see all day, every day I am at work. In a short amount of time, it has become one of my most precious possessions. It is a picture of two hands, one is older with visible wrinkles and the other much younger as it holds a crayon. The message underneath the picture is simple, but what it says to me that no one else can see is what takes my breath away. Today, my thoughts surrounded this simple depiction of one hand guiding and helping the other and became a focus of mine whenever I caught myself in its gaze. There are many things we do with one hand - we eat, we make a call, we write, we drink, we wave. The list is endless. Then I started thinking about how many things we do with two hands - we tie our shoes, we dig in the garden, we learn to drive a car, we put our pants on. This list is endless as well. Then I started to think about how big a part of our body our hands are and how some things are better with two hands, even though you can accomplish it with one. Like giving a hug. I am lucky if I get a hug at all, so even a one-armed hug from one of my sons is better than no hug, but I pick a two armed-two handed hug every time. I love hugs and always get one in return. Some things, like clapping, cannot be done with just one hand. You cannot give a high-five to someone without two hands. What I thought about most when I see the two hands is that I see one helping the other because one by itself is not enough. When our parents are teaching us to ride a bike, what do they all say? "Use two hands!" Why? Because they know that we need two hands to keep control of the bike and it also helps keep us balanced. We all need help at sometime in our life. We all need extra guidance to teach us something and when we learn something we usually get better at it. I am not one to accept assistance from others, even when I know I need it. I am stubborn and pig-headed at times; although I have also heard it described as "determined". For a very long time, I was committed to doing it alone and would even accept failure as the outcome because I did it myself. I was going to prove to myself that I could do anything, if I just tried hard enough and long enough. I am extremely hard on myself because I have had to be in order to be successful and accomplish my goals. This week, I accepted assistance in a situation I was very nervous about because of lack of practice and internal pressure I self-imposed. I also had to quit questioning someone's intentions as I wanted to run away. The two hands remind me of someone that is always there to help, should I need it. Two hands are always better than one.

Anything and Everything

I used to call this The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, but I like this better. It was used in a message today to me from someone as I have struggled over the last couple of days with wanting to run. It has also been mentioned to me that, "Running is easy...staying is hard." Afraid of the unknown not even yet before me and guessing at what my future may hold, set me back on my heels and put me out of sync in many ways. It was noticed and I was not even sure where it even came from. Part of me still believed it to be untrue - that everything I wanted something to be would not be something I could have. It was a fluke - a mistake - a boo-boo. It is something that I have to believe I can have, should have, deserve to have. I have to not give in to the easy choice, but put that faith in someone else and let them choose, even if I have been promised what that choice would be should the time come. If we ever cross that bridge, I was reminded that she would always be here. ALWAYS HERE. When you make a promise to someone that you will be there through anything and everything, what does that say about you? Of course, if the tables were turned, I would be there for her through anything and everything. In fact, I would be hurt if I was not included in that and I would expect to be in the middle of it all. Not really sure what she needed, but would be there - ALWAYS THERE. The devotion and committment to something that you are not wavering, not ever giving up, always present especially when something is difficult will make you go places you never imagined. It will make you search for the will to do all that you can to hold onto what you treasure most. Your grasp may loosen, but you will never be able to actually let go. You can't. You have become a living part of someone else and that memory will never fade - despite time or distance. You have to have faith...you have to believe...you have to know...you have to take chances...you have to love...you have to let go...you have to live. When you are willing to give it your everything regardless of anything that comes up, then nothing can stop you.

What does it mean?

What do signs in our life mean? How should we interpret them? Am I reading too much into things that keep coming up? Maybe I should let them be. Nah, I don't think I can do that either. I'm in a quandry now and I am trying to figure it out. Maybe you can help. Some people have no answers for me right now. Let me re-phrase that...the only answer I can come up with is very drastic and not sure I am there yet to make that decision. Yet, I question why these situations keep happening. I am trying so hard and yet struggle with it every day. I'm not sure there is a happy medium or middle ground. I believe that this is a test to see where I really am committed and really have to dig deep to see what I can do. I came across this quote today and wanted to share it with you..."The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap." - MaryAnn Radmacher. Over a year ago, I told someone, "The biggest dilemma will not be in finding out what you are meant to do. It will be having the courage to do it." Do I have that kind of courage? Am I ready to take that leap? I don't know. I feel like I am being sent messages, but either are not understanding them completely or am afraid of their true meaning because I would need to act on them. How do I know what to do next? How do I know when is the right time? I have talked recently about being "All in" - when do I know when to go "all in"? Am I just playing around the pool, dabbling my toes every so often, just to get my feet a little wet? Do I slowly wade into the pool from the shallow end and gradually get into the deeper water? Or do I just jump in (aka go "all in")? I don't believe in coincidence - everything happens for a reason. Someone recently told me that there is so much of me that I don't show the world and that is my moxie. Yet, there are times when I am discouraged from "showing my moxie" - so what to do? If I stop and think about this, I have been dabbling by the pool...getting a little wet each time I stuck a toe in the water. But here is the thing...I only keep getting my toes wet. I need to get more of me in the water to really feel it. My toes are getting the reward but it is not quenching the thirst for the water for the rest of my body. I have to put more into the water, but not sure if slowly wading into the pool works either. You know that feeling when the water around you feels cooler than what you felt before you went into the water, and you walk slower thinking it makes it better, but in reality as you gather your breath and get more of yourself into the water, you actually feel better. But you have to get over those first couple of minutes of hesitation, of nervousness, of fear. You have not been swallowed, but you are immersed into what you are in and all of the hesitation, nervousness, and fear have subsided. You are back in control and are right again. That is where I am - trying to decide. Any ideas?

Right place...right time

Has this ever happened to you? Maybe once or twice? When you were able to help someone that tripped on the curb and you grabbed their arm and helped them regain their balance? When you gave a kind word and a smile to someone that really, REALLY wondered what they had to smile about? Maybe, like me, you feel like you are the right place at the right time to live your life the way it was intended to live. Part of me wished that all of this would have happened a long time ago because I feel like I wasted many years that I can never get back. I could used someone like me many years ago to help me see what I needed to see so that I could get to where I needed to get to. Wishing and hoping for the past does me no good. I have to believe that I was not ready then. It was not mine to have at that time. Even though I wished it..or something like it, not even really knowing what that was or where it would come from. I was in a rut for so long and am grateful that I found it, better late than never. When Rocky and I try to explain how we came to be, we cannot. We were at the right place at the right time. I am not sure what drew us to become instant, life-long friends, but it must have been the right place and time for both of us.
"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return" - "For Good", from Wicked

We cannot always wait for things to be "right" before we take a leap of faith. Sometimes, we are just there...in the moment and you happen to be in the right place at the right time. Do not overlook those chances that may drop in from time to time. Since I believe things happen for a reason, I also believe people coming into and out of my life also serve a purpose. Sometimes, it is hard and other times, you wonder how you ever did without them. You will know deep in your soul, just when it is time to let go and time to hold on. The message will be clear in one way shape or another. You will never doubt those special moments with those special people that you were at the right place at the right time. Neither will they because it will be just as special for them. Believe in right place, right time. It doesn't happen all the time...but you know it when you have it.

Stuck with no way out

Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing people that settle. They just accept what is in front of them, even if it is not what they truly want. Or they feel stuck - with no possible way out. There should be no "stuck" in someone's vocabulary and everyone should always feel that there is always something different to have. All it means when I see "The Rut" or the sense of hoplessness in someone is that it is easier to stay than to fight for something better, for something different. I cannot even fathom the amount of courage it takes a battered mother of small kids to leave with nothing to her name - not a suitcase with clothes in it for her kids; no paperwork to assist in getting help from agencies; not a photograph of the memories that will only live in her mind. NOTHING. I have seen this and it tore me up and still does. NO ONE IS STUCK - EVER. There are always choices to be made, even if they are hard ones. Even if you know it will get worse before it gets better. Don't settle for some life that makes you unhappy. Find a reason to laugh again...to love again...to be you again. Everyone is here once and again, but no one can live here. It is unproductive and self-sabotaging. You are going to have challenges and every challenge is meant to teach you something. Even if it is to find out what you are willing to accept vs. what you are willing to go after. One of the very first sayings I found when I started this trek along the road of life is "You will never change your life until you change your choices." Do you want to live another life? Even one that is unconventional in other's eyes? Where they just don't see what you are seeing? Who do you live your life for? How many of you said, "I live my life for me."? I am sure, not many. Why not? Even when we feel like there is no way out, that there is no one there to help me, make small changes to get "unstuck" and out of the rut. If this is you...then I ache for you. No one should live a life feeling like there is no way out. Believe me...I know someone who probably thought that for a long time. She could not see the light at the end of the tunnel...not even sure where that light was shining from or what direction it would take her. But I bet if you asked her, she would tell you that she no longer feels stuck and is actually making a new road to travel. "Live your life!" as Lucy tells Charlie Brown in a recent comic strip from the newspaper. Everytime you want to give up because it is hard and you are unsure, think about a woman leaving everything behind because leaving with nothing but her two kids because staying is worse. Being stuck is worse. Get out if you are unhappy. It starts with you. Always.

Leave your Mark

Do you know what this means? What is the legacy you want people to
remember about you? Leaving your mark doesn't have to be a big thing.
It can be the smallest of things. A few posts ago, I mentioned about
"It Matters!" and you have to still believe in the intention of
showing the world what you can do. I love to surprise people with
cards that come through the mail for no specific reason other than I
want them to know that they are important to me and I was thinking
about them. I am leaving my mark. My mark is not about the money I
might spend. It's about the time I spent thinking about them. When I
give a teenager words of hope and encourage them that they are so much
more than what is directly in front of them, I am leaving my mark.
When I speak from my heart and tell those I love exactly what I think
and want, I am leaving my mark. What do you want your mark to say
about you? That you are devoted to your family and friends and would
do all you could to keep them safe? That you gave away more than you
received? Remember, little things add up, too. Every great Redwood
tree grew from one seed. Just one. My greatest feeling is always
watching someone change before my eyes - not because I had anything to
do with that change - but because they chose it. Your mark can just be
what people think when they hear your name. It can be helping a small
child or someone older who can't quite get what they want. Take the
time to leave your mark on strangers as well as those you know. You
may forget about it in time, but once you have left it, it can never
be erased. You have left your mark forever on someone. Even when you
weren't trying to; when you get nothing in return; when you have
nothing to lose.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Making amends

Making amends for possible wrongdoings can make things all better. Yesterday, I took the chance to apologize to someone that perhaps I didn't need to, but I did it anyway. After 20 some years, I said what I needed to say and even though it was better before I apologized, I felt better afterwards. Sometimes, we make decisions at the time that we need to make them and do not realize how those decisions might affect someone else. It was never talked about and probably long forgotten. But I had told Rocky that I felt that I needed to say I was sorry to someone for excluding them from certain events from my life a long time ago. I had decided back when I wrote my Life Statement that I would say what I need to say when I need to say it. I recently told someone that I was not sure if what I ever say to her is too much, but she knows exactly how I feel and what she means to me. She never doubts and I even asked if it was too much. She told me it was never too much. I try to make amends with those that I might have wronged and would gladly say, "I'm sorry." I wrote a card and gave her a little gift too and I have no regrets in doing so. The response I got was one of "I understand" and "It was a hard time." Do you have amends you need to make with those you care about? Are you willing to do that and go somewhere that you never thought possible? This year is about "WHY NOT?" - yesterday, I probably surprised this someone, but am glad I had the opportunity to make amends. Whether she thought they needed them or not, I am glad I did not miss that chance while I had it. Thanks, CL. We are better now than we probably ever have been.

Everyone has a role

No one is removed from that ever. No one. Someone always is something to someone else. Maybe your role changes for others, but you are still someone to someone else. I am a mother to three boys and a wife to my husband. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a colleague, etc. The list never ends. Some roles overlap. They have to and that can be a great thing. My sisters are also my friends. I also have a friend who might as well be my sister. Those people in out lives that fill a need is playing a role. There should be no competition if someone fills a gap that someone else cannot, either by choice or by being unable to do so. It does not mean that the person that cannot be everything to me is less of everything they can be. They give me all they can, all they have and I love them for that. But when someone else steps in and makes me better because they fill a void that I never knew existed, then it makes me more complete. It makes me whole - the puzzle pieces are put where they go. We all have a job to do with that role. Our oldest son is a pitcher and this year I asked what his job was - he told me, "Throw strikes, get outs." I reminded him that his job does not change regardless of what team he plays for, therefore his attitude should not change. My role for everyone out there...you...my family and friends...my co-workers is to be me. Live up to the role you have been assigned and remember who you are to others may help them be more of who they are meant to be. Have a FUN DIP Wednesday!!

Kitty! PUMA!

Does your mind go a hundred miles a minute? Mine does. I think Rocky's might travel faster than the speed of light, off on all kinds of tangents, but that is what makes me smile. Every time. Have you ever seen something that kind of gets your attention and you make a small mental note of it, and then carry on your way? Then, a little later, something else does the same thing and you recall the earlier moment and start to wonder if those two things are adding up to something? And what if, a third, seemingly unrelated incident occurs that makes you stop and catch your breath? And once in a while you get totally blind sided and you never saw it coming. Rocky and I would call the first three moments, "kitties" and the last one a "PUMA". This all started when we were out several mornings ago and she wondered off to pet a kitty while I was talking to her. So we started calling those moments when we got off subject or task, "kitty" and then last week, "PUMA" showed up. Just like pumas do. Moral of this post - you are going to have "kitty" moments - take them into consideration and figure out what they mean. Take a break from the normal life you live and find a little escape now and again. When you come back, it makes you better and refreshed. Now and again, a "PUMA" will show up too. Expect it will come, you just do not know when. Take your breath, process what is in front of you at that very moment, and carry on. Do not let the unknown create anticipation that is not warranted. Pumas eventually make their way past you and move on to someone else. I am more of a canine person, but certainly love my feline friends as well. KITTY!

Rule #8 - Be Yourself

These rules are not mine. I did not write them, yet I do all I can to practice them at all times. In all, there are 22 Rules with Rule #22 being the most important. One day, maybe I will write about the others. Today, I am writing about Rule #8 - Be Yourself. Who are you? Do you know? So many years are wasted trying to be something or someone we are not. Why? It cannot be fun and certainly is frustrating and time consuming. We do it because we are afraid of letting others see who we really are. Are we ashamed of who we are? Usually, not. When you are being who you are...without gimmicks...without an agenda...without pretenses...you feel free. Instead, we spend our lives hiding, being afraid, and running from follow our hearts. It has to stop...someday. You and I cannot continue to chase our tails around in circles and hope to be somewhere different. Eventually, you have to want to stop chasing your tail. You are who you are and you have so much to give. You just don't know it yet. Allow your soul to fly and show the world what you can do. You can do anything. I have found that I am happier, love deeper, give more, and embrace my life when I am being me. When I laugh at a funny billboard or leave someone a message in a different accent, I am being me. When I write in my journals or on this blog, I am being me. When I cheer on my boys and encourage my husband, I am being me. When I give a friend a hug and tell them that I love them, I am being me. I will NEVER excuse myself for being me. It is all I have to give and I am going to do just that.

Second chances

Everyone needs them. Sometimes, even when we don't deserve them. When we think there is no way that we could deserve them. I read something today that reminded me about second chances and wanted to share with you while I had it fresh in my head. Every time we make a mistake, every time we fall short, every time we hurt someone...there are second chances that can be had. I am not sure which is more difficult...the one asking for the second chance or the one giving it. When you are the one asking for it, you have come to the realization that you were wrong and that you have hurt someone you love. However, you also understand that you cannot change what has been done. You have to move forward. You have to try, anyway. You may come crawling on your knees, begging for forgiveness, and crying the entire time you are doing it. You are afraid that you will not get the chance to make amends, and that may be something you carry with you forever. Nothing makes a person more humble than asking for a second chance. You have made a choice to try to make things right as best as you can, with all that you are. On the other hand, if you are the person giving the second chance, then you have a choice still to make. You have to allow the person that hurt you or wronged you in someway to ask for the second chance. Once it has been asked, you can either tell them that they do not deserve it or forgive them. Sometimes, you want to do both. Because you are vulnerable and you still have pain and you want them to know, you are angry and full of questions that may never be answered. It may never make sense to you. It may not even make sense to them. But then, you have to decide...to let them go or hold on to them, in spite of being hurt. Inspite of crawling on your knees, begging to understand, and crying the entire time. Knowing that you may someday be the one asking for forgiveness. How much do you want that person to be in your life? Are you willing to fight for them, even if you makes you raw and vulnerable because you love them? Are you? When will you know when it is time to walk away, even if you haven't been hurt? Will it be clear to you or will you still wonder after you made your decision if it was the right one? Many times, we never know these answers ahead of time. I wish we did. You do not get a second chance at life - no do overs, no mulligans. You have one shot ONLY. What are you doing with your one shot? Doesn't every NBA star want to be able to slam dunk the ball? Isn't the biggest thing you can do in baseball is hit a grandslam? Are you living your life that way? Go for it all - always. No regrets. Think about second chances when they present themselves and follow your heart. It may be hard and nothing you would have guessed you needed, but it happened for a reason. To see what you are made of and how you will respond. Life has no second chances. Remember, your life started years ago and if you have not started living it yet, START TODAY!!!!!

The Greatest Gift

I have said before that hugs, compliments, and smiles are free - therefore, everyone can afford them. I was reminded today that I have given someone something even better. Something that I did not realize I had given, nor did I give it a second thought as to whether or not I should or should not be giving it. It just happened. This gift costs me no money, no planning, and no special wrapping paper. This same person thanked me once about always having time for her. When she told me that, I did not not realize what that really meant until today. I have had very few people that I can honestly say changed my life. I made it very clear the other night to her and others that were with us, that she is one of those people. She does this for me every day, whether she knows it or not. I lay it all out there more than I ever have and even though it is difficult sometimes, I have gotten past regrets and pretending. When she sees the REAL me, with no walls and no secrets, then that is the Greatest Gift I can give her. I give her ME...that's it. In return, I receive the Greatest Gift - her and all that she brings to the table. We are constantly amazed at where we both were some 15 months ago, where shaking our heads in disbelief doesn't even make it make sense either. I seriously don't think either one of us could have imagined where a chance meeting and an immediate connection would transform our souls. FOR GOOD! We are blessed by the people that come into our lives and forever leave pieces of themselves that we treasure. Hold onto them. Make sure that you are giving away your Greatest Gift. The best part is that your giving away your Greatest Gift makes you better and richer with all you hold dear. I am better because of her and she is better because of me. You know who you are, but thank you for always having time for me, laying it all out there, and giving me YOU. JS.

Living Happy is a CHOICE

Today was a bad day for me. Lately, it does not seem to matter what I do or say, even with the best intentions in mind, it is wrong. It can be and is very frustrating. Not knowing where to go or what to do...how to fix it...what happens next, and the list goes on. For a while, I let it (the situation) rule and take over my attitude for the remainder of the day. I was invited to a friend's house later tonight and got to the point where I was shutting down. I was not going to go to something that I was looking forward to, although I knew going in that it was not my element. I wasn't going to go to my friend's house and told Rocky not to come tomorrow to run. Ultimately, she understood and told me that it was my choice. Later on in the day, I changed my perspective. I told myself that I was not going to let something bad that happened ruin the rest of my day. That was not fair to me and I would let the situation win. Even though it was not something I would pick, I decided go and said to myself, "Why not?" An hour and half before I was supposed to be at my friend's house, I called her to tell her I was coming. I was going to surprise her, but thought I had better tell her before I showed up and she told everyone I wasn't going to be there. Because I was not in my element, I found myself getting a little reminder (she pretends to turn pages on a magazine) about where I needed to be. I surrendered to being "all in". Enjoying the moment, for whatever was in front of me and I CHOSE to live happy. It is a conscious decision and one that must be made every day. You cannot let the negative moments creep in to our lives so that we focus on that...you will drown in that river every time. You choose to swim and fight the current that tries to drag you down, but you have to fight through it. Living happy is a choice, not a guarantee or easy. It is difficult and it is not something you "try" - you "do". One of the first sayings that I ever found that made an enormous impact on me was, "You will never change your life until you change your choices." Choose to change your life - want something different - be ready to face challenges - go where you never thought you would go - love like there is no tomorrow - be all in - have no regrets. As much as I might have been uncomfortable this evening, I had a great time. I am sure people learned more about me than they ever thought they could in 3 hours and who knows what will happen next. I told my friend that she "owed me big time" and she knows it. But as I sit here thinking about how the night went, I won't ever collect. There truly is no need. I needed her to push me outside my comfort zone and just be me. A couple of drinks doesn't hurt either. LOL! I learned something tonight - living happy is a conscious decision made with effort and thought. It does not happen by accident. Why would you choose to live miserably when you can choose to live happy? It is actually easier than you think it is. Give it a try. You know you want to.

The Look

You know exactly what I am talking about. Don't you? We all know it. The look your dad gives you when you come in late from being out with friends. The look your mother gives when you are mocking someone sitting in front of you in church. Then there is the look the bride and groom give each other as she walks towards him down the aisle. How about the look you give to your child or grandchild after they are born? Looks say much without ever saying a word. I was given "the look" this week. Not the good kind, either. More of the "quit it!" kind. We give looks and receive looks all day, every day. What kind of looks do you give? Does your look tell someone that you would be there for them, especially at their darkest hour? Does your look tell someone that you have judged them based on outer appearances? You cannot control what looks come your way, but you can control the looks you send out. Make sure every look you give today is meant, with a purpose. The other people don't have to know the reason, but you will know. A look can change everything, in a moment. Even when you don't want it, sometimes the look can tell you all you need to know.

NEVER apologize for talent!

I heard this said last night in a play I took my mom to celebrate her birthday. I didn't have a pen with me, so every so often I would try to remind myself of this so I would remember it so I could tell you about it now. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TALENT! I used to do that all the time. I still struggle with attention (of any kind) that I receive because of something that I do well. We all have talents. We all have different talents from each other and some are the same or similar. I do not like to even point out if I am good at something and will deflect any way I can. But here goes. Not anymore. This...here, today...is one of my talents. I can write. Maybe, somedays. Oh, wait. I am not allowed to say that. Moving on...something brings you all here however often you come and whatever you get from my sharing life with you. I told someone once that I love being able to "plant the seed and walk away". That is what I do here. I get you to think about a different way of thinking and maybe encourage you to change your life. For the good forever. I also have a talent for talking (I tell my husband that the gift of gab is a true gift) to people and it has been mentioned to me that when I get into the "mode", it is neat to see. Told you before, never seen it, but I guess it happens. Here is the absolute best part about when you can identify and use your talents...you don't have to think about them. They just happen, naturally. They are who you are and define where your passions are. I also have learned where my talents are NOT. I am learning how to be better in those areas that I struggle in and seek out those people that have strengths there. I have to let them help me. I cannot do it alone. God knows I have tried. I have not failed in doing so, but can do so much more with knowledgeable people by my side. Where do your talents lie? Do you use them? Do you want to use them? How do we get you to harness the energy that is behind those talents and get you moving towards changing your future? I used to feel awkward and silly when I would receive a compliment about playing well in one of my games, or getting good grades, or being told that I can show others the "light." I didn't believe it. Yesterday, I was asked to make a list of those women that I have somehow touched and influenced, even if I didn't think I did. I thought the list would be short - I guessed that I could count those people on one hand, maybe two. Right now, that list stands at over two dozen. This blog is read by people in 28 different countries. It started with a few close friends knowing how to get here. One of my talents is to write. Thank you for letting me share my talent with you!

15 minutes

What can happen in 15 minutes? A lot! You can give birth to a baby. You can marry your high school sweetheart. You can run a mile. You can submit your resignation. You can hear of tragedy that can crumble your very world. The list goes on. In a short amount of time, new ideas have presented themselves where I have been focused on something else. Not to say that my previous focus will be dismissed, but that I have more to think about. I have a lot to think about and process and need to be in the right frame of mind to get there. The book I am reading now talks about how when we are passionately driven towards something, we will always be drawn to the excitement of it and that will diminish the fears that go along with it. I was reminded of a time where I spent 15 minutes with someone and shared with them my perspective on a particular subject. This is important because I previously had said that my impact on her mom could not be significant because I had only spent 3 hours with her. Then, it came - the reminder of "15 minutes". I was asked to complete a task today that could ultimately lead me in a different direction than where I thought I was heading. Maybe not a completely different direction, but maybe just another branch growing from the same tree. What can you do in 15 minutes? Wash your car? Update people on happenings via facebook? Or can you do something bigger, better, and that will leave people wanting 15 minutes more? Can you spare 15 minutes? There is nothing more important than the relationships we have with people and we need to take time to invest in those relationships. 15 minutes is not too much to ask. Some of the greatest ideas, friendships, and adventures start with 15 minutes. Where are you in your life? Is there something you want to change, but not sure you have the time? You can make a change. You can choose to do something different. You can decide what is important and what is not. My attitude about this new idea changed 15 minutes after I last spoke of it and here I am writing about it. That should tell me something. Make the time...after all, it is only 15 minutes.