Right vs. Wrong

How many times does this dilema cross your path in any given day? I am talking about a certain thing, however. Have you ever felt like you made the right decision for the wrong reasons or made the wrong decision for the right reasons? For whatever reason, this thought came to me at 2:45am and then I could not get back to sleep. A couple of weeks ago, I decided something for the right reason. It made sense to me on one hand and not on another. But I had to decide. I was not prepared to not make a decision, because playing on the teeter-totter was not helping me. So I decided to be true to me and try to put myself first because not doing so was more painful. Even the person I shared this decision with did not understand why I needed to make it, but yet she understood. In part, I did not want to have to choose, but I did not think there was another way. Yesterday, I realized that I had made the wrong decision, but the reasons still made sense to me. I hate it when things come back to bite you in the ___. I am not a selfish person and constantly give to others as that truly makes me happy. When I give to others, I cannot think of myself. As I type this, I realized another thing...in making my decision, I was running. Because running was easy. I had removed myself from a situation that was painful for me to stay in, so my choice was to run. I had an out...it was given to me...and I chose to take it. Then, yesterday I was reminded of something else that helped me choose something else. So here I am backl at square one. But not really because I have already learned from making the wrong decision for the right reasons. There are times when the decisions we make cannot be explained (so they might look wrong), but we know they are right in our hearts. I have to apologize, even though it may not be needed or expected, for making the wrong decision and hope forgiveness will follow. Whenever this happens to us, make the amends that need to be done to make it better. I did not realize how ready I was to leave it all behind me, knowing it would not be something anyone wanted, but because it was easy. It is much more difficult to fight for something you want, even if you are not sure how it will work out. Today, I will make the right decision for the right reasons. I know it will be hard and I am not willing to give up.

Nothing can stop you

I heard a phrase from a new movie last night that said, "When you do something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you." That momentum will carry you past any doubt, any fear, and opinion that is not in your favor. But you have to believe in what you are are doing first. Mike and I went out to dinner last night as we visited a friend's new sandwich shop and we saw a few of the workers that we have known for some time. One of them, MK, was in attendance Wednesday night when I gave my speech. He told me he stayed awake during the speech (maybe it was because he knew me), but also he said he really liked it. I told him it was my first one. He asked me again, "Really?" I told him that seriously it was my first one, but was hoping for more. I think it impressed him that he never would have known that it was my first speech if I had not told him. Thanks, MK. You all know what I am talking about. When you KNOW, without a doubt ever, that what you are doing is right. You know it and you feel it. You feel it so deep you are not sure you will ever reach the bottom of your soul. It keeps going. And you also realize that because you can feel it that much, and the passion behind it is so greeat, that nothing can stop you. There will be nothing that will stand in your way. I told someone recently that when you ask yourself THE question, and you find that the answer is the same, then you know. But you have to be willing to let it come from your heart, not your head. Emotion is so much stronger than thought. What are you doing for the right reasons?

When people don't see it

It really isn't that hard. It is quite simple. Maybe that is why I don't get why people don't see it. The "it" I am referring to is different things on different days. Maybe "it" is when people say one thing and do another. Sometimes it is when saying the right thing is not meant to hurt. Being kind is not hard nor does it require a lot of thought or work. We usually overlook the person doing the right thing because we notice first the person not doing the right thing. And that person doesn't see it. I put others before myself and am extremely embarrased if someone notices it. I do it for them...not for recognition. I was gone most of the weekend attending a family wedding out of town and then, I noticed something that had been left behind. Something that made me smile. Something that may never be erased from the surface (but may accidently be erased), is now imprinted forever in my memory. Little things like that can really affect people. But, people don't see it. They don't get it. I know I am more real than I probably have been because I am done playing the game. I am done hanging out with people that don't have the same mindset as me. Not that they have to agree with everything I say or think, but I realize I am leaning more towards the people that have those same thoughts. When people don't see it, there usually is an excuse close by to explain why. The real reason and the only reason is because it is easier not to care...easier to take care of me...easy. This world is far from it. It throws all kinds of pitches at you and you have to be ready. And even if you are not, you will be in a short amount of time. Are you one of the ones that sees it or not? If you don't see it, do you want to? You can see it, but you have to not choose easy and LOOK. Really LOOK. It is there. Even when you think it isn't. And once you see it, you will feel it.

The confirmation continues...

Oh My Golly!!! (OMG!!!) Where to begin?? Today was a spectacular day. An even though little things from a variety of people happened and made their presence known, I treasured each one. Of course, it started with my morning ritual with Rock. Once she called these "meetings" and they seem to become more of those recently as we discuss what happened in the previous 24 hours and what will occur in the next 24 hours. It just makes me smile. Then, I received a facebook message from someone and all she said was, "love ya, girlfriend". Now, that may not seem significant to you, but considering I have known her for a short time and we have become friends since March is a great thing. We just connected, even though in the past our paths only crossed because of work situations. Now they are about to collide, but in a very big, exciting way. Next, a young man called me to tell me that he had completed the program he was working on and promised me that he would stay in touch. I see the promise he has for his future. At lunch, I had a WONDERFUL time with SM...she believes in me and my passion and we have become good friends as we let walls down and each other in. Love it! A young man came to my office - just to visit. Not because he needed to but he chose to. I asked him if he ever thought he would be here and he said, "No." I asked him what I said that made him come back - he said, "you told me that the choice is mine." One of my favorite quotes is, "You will never change your life until you change your choices." He knows that he has potential and can see it. Finally, I gave out fun dip to co-workers...after all, it is FUN DIP WEDNESDAY. Now, you are probably scratching your head, really thinking I am crazy. The purpose of Fun Dip Wednesday is to remind us to have fun...do something unexpected...smile when you think you shouldn't. All of this tells me I am on the right track. I told someone today that I could not find my back to who I was even if I wanted to. I don't, but couldn't. I would feel more lost trying to live the life I used to live than living a life I have never lived. How ironic is that? The unknown seems more exciting to me than what I have already experienced. Not sure that this has homework for you from here...but every post is done with a reason in mind. Today's might be to just share with you that I am getting confirmation that what I am doing is right. That it has people talking. That we are not alone in our thoughts. That my willingness to bare all (ok, not all - LOL) and connect with you allows you the freedom to do the same. BELIEVE!!

When Things Fall Apart

We have all felt that way, at one time in our lives. When even with the best intentions, things go wrong and we are unsure of how to fix them. Sometimes, there are words that cannot be unspoken or deeds cannot be undone. Other times, time is not on your side and you will never be able to make amends. Situations happen that are out of your control or you have let them get so much out of control that now going back is out of the question. What happens next? What do you say when you are in front of that person again? How do you make it better? What happens if you doing the best you can to rectify this issue only makes it worse? What if you do nothing? We keep trying!! We do everything we know until our hands are raw with the emotion they carry and our hearts are done bleeding because there is nothing more. We do what we think is right even if it turns out wrong. Things fall apart all the time in life - it is inevitable. How we deal with those times determines what goes on from there. We pick up the pieces and move on. It may not be the way it was before, but it just might be the little wake up call you needed to get a grasp on what matters most. Usually, when we are down, we have others right beside us waiting for that moment when we can help you stand back up again. We will help carry the load and be there when you need our help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Nothing ever stays the same, anyway. Things falling apart and being put back together are bound to happen. Welcome to life.

What would you do?

Yes, this is also the name of a TV show where uncomfortable situations and actors are there to see if the general public would react to something that is apparently very wrong, without knowing that they are on hidden cameras. If you were in a situation that you KNEW was wrong and the people that have the power to stand up and say something and stop it do nothing, what would you do? This was brought to my attention over the last week when I was told about someone who allegedly made racial remarks to another person and no one did anything. What happens when you are REQUIRED to put people in a situation that you believe will cause more harm than good? I cannot do that morally. I am struggling with this dilemma right now. I am not a military wife, nor do I completely understand their method. But if a ranking officer orders a soldier to do something, even if it is morally wrong, is that soldier obligated to follow that order? If he does, his heart will carry that guilt forever - knowing that he could have stopped some tragedy. If he does not, is he being insubordinate and face consequences? What happens in this case? Have you seen, "A Few Good Men" with Tom Cruise? Two marines are brought up on charges of murdering a fellow marine because their commanding officer ordered them to and although they are acquited of that charge, they go to prison for "conduct unbecoming an officer." What would you do? I cannot sit and watch this unfold and it makes me very angry that someone quit their job because someone else wouldn't do their job. Do you have the guts to stand up and do what is right, not what is easy? DO YOU?? Look hard at what you stand for...what you believe...what humanity expects...what character you possess. Is your MOXIE showing when you need it to show, more than anything? Above all? Good grief. What are you made of and what do think you will regret more - - saying something and knowing you were right or not saying anything at all? Either way, you will remember it for the rest of your life. And so will others that were also there. Doing the right thing when something is wrong says a lot about a person. Sometimes it says more than it should which is more than you ever thought it could. SHOW YOUR MOXIE!!