I was so excited!

The other night, I took our youngest son to the first meeting for confirmation this year. I saw our pastor and said hello and briefly mentioned this journey I have been on for the last 8 months. He told me he would love to hear more about it and I told him I would come and share with him soon. He also asked me if I would stop in a time or two on Wednesday nights - I told him I would do what I could. Then, I went back to my seat and a thought overcame everything else that I should have been thinking about. I began to wonder if I needed to come on a couple of nights to talk to the kids about what's been going on with me. I love working with the kids, and especially love to plant the seed and then walk away. I don't need to be there to see if it will grow or not - it really doesn't matter to me. The unknown is just fine with me. I could not wait to get out of the meeting because I was so excited, I had to call someone. I called my running partner and she, (of course) thinks I should pursue it more. I wrote down exactly what I was thinking and feeling and ended up writing almost 3 pages. Then, I asked, "Is this it?" "Is this what I am supposed to be doing?" I guess we will see. More to come later. Have a glorious day - remember, it starts today.

As women, we...

doubt...we question...we worry...we carry too much. It amazes me how much we can handle and yet how little can break us, too. All these strengths and weaknessess we have are amazing and can also be our downfall. It is very difficult when we fear the unknown or of letting our guard down. It has to mean more to us than it does to anyone else. It has to be what drives us to follow our hearts and be who we are meant to be. Letting go - of anything - is so difficult, but neceesary to be able to move forward. There are many circumstances we cannot change - we can only control how we react to those circumstances. We still have control - maybe not all of the control we want, but we still have it. We need to do things for us - not for anyone else nor should we care what anyone else will think. Those of us that are here for YOU will support you and not criticize. Those others that find ways to put us down only win if we let them. We give them permission. And then we gripe about it. It's our own fault. I say, "No More!" We are courageous and strong and powerful. Be true to your soul - that is what is most important of all. LET IT GO!

Talk about a wake up call

Yesterday, I got back on the path I started on over 8 months ago, but didn't realize how far off track I had gotten until I got to work yesterday morning. A co-worker called me and however I answered the phone, her reply was, "It's you!" I told her, "Of course, it's me. Who else would it be?" She told me that I had not been "me" for a couple of weeks now and others had noticed as well. I simply dismissed it and really did not think that my preoccupation with the weight goal had overcome my life as much as it was apparent to everyone else. Looking back, it became a focus - almost an obessession - everyday. Weighing myself two times a day was not unheard of recently. Guess what? It was making me crazy and it was apparent to everyone else except me. The scale is exactly where it has been since I bought it, but now I have no desire to even know what it says. I had self-imprisoned myself into thinking that the number at the end of my feet defines who I am. This whole process began because of something much more than making new friends, losing weight, or this blog. It began with a simple thought that came to me back in January. I find it difficult to even remember what I was like before this all began. Nothing can compare to where I am now and wherever I am going from this point forward. We all have things that become distractions and detour us from our path - just remember to follow your heart. I read a quote in a book, "That little voice you keep ignoring is the only one you should ever listen to." - Lisa Scottoline. Be ready for your wake up call - it will come not when you expect it, but when you are ready for it. Have an awesome day.

Re-focused

I have to apologize...my attention has been elsewhere and have needed to come back to this place. You may ask, what lead to this slight delay? As silly as it sounds, it was a scale. My goal to lose 30 pounds will be over on October 1st and for the past week, I have become more interested in what the scale said. Yes, my running started with a weight loss goal, but people were reminding me of how I needed to view a loss of even 28 pounds as a success instead of a failure. I would view that as a failure. Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking more about the journey and not the end result and why the journey itself is most important. I am reminded to "Embrace the journey" everyday because of a bracelet I wear. Yesterday, I took time to write in my journal and had not done so for over a month. I have resolved not to get back on the scale until October 1st and whatever it says, I will be happy with. Thank you for your patience and especially to those friends who just want to knock me upside the back of head sometimes. You know who you are and I am grateful everyday of your support and encouragement. It is truly unbelievable. Sometimes, we have to take time to refocus and find "balance" to make it all work. Take time to do that and it becomes so much easier. Have a wonderful Wednesday!

STRT 2DY

Do you know what this says? This is my new license plate and it is a constant reminder about what reoccuring theme has been here throughout this entire journey. This blog is titled on purpose - It Starts Today. I am reenergized about what next steps must be taken as I continue making my inner soul shine. I have given time to myself that I never took before. I reflect on those things that are most important and am much more open with people around me. I am impassioned with courage, love, and freedom like never before. As I look back at how this whole thing began, I sometimes shake my head to think, "How did I get here?" It began over 8 months ago and I have confronted and accepted some of my worst fears in the process. I have made new friends, some of which have permanently left their footprints on my heart. I have grown in my outlook on life and am happier for it. Remember, that whatever it is that you have been putting off - tell yourself that it starts today. Everyday. It shows determination and confidence in whatever you want to do. Believe in yourself and follow your gut. Be glad you did it instead of regretting later that you didn't. It will make a difference and you will be better for it.

Different People, Same Minds

Someone told me yesterday that I needed to post something for August...when she told me that, I wondered what could I say? Am I running out of things to say? Then, I thought of her and another co-worker who I had visited with briefly earlier in the week and I found that we all had something in common. As I compared the three of us, I realized that we all come from different places, but are here...in the same place in our minds. If we aren't there yet, we cetainly want to be there. The more I am willing to open up and give freely of what I have to offer, I am still surprised at the reaction I receive from others. Our paths cross periodically at work, but never do we really get to know each other and appreciate who we really are as people. It is a shame that we cannot do that more, because that is what living is really about. Giving of ourselves, our genuine selves, is the most precious gift we can give anyone. People need to be less judgemental, more patient, and more understanding. For a very long time, I wanted things to be different, but didn't know how to start, where to start, etc. Then, it happened on its own. When this started, I told someone who questioned, "Why us?" and "Why now?" "that we are ready to receive it now." It has been a long time coming, but I am very grateful that I am not alone in my thinking about life. Every day, I am amazed that other people think similar thoughts as I do. Together, we will make it better. Every storm begins with just one drop of rain. Maybe this is our storm. Have a wonderful weekend.