What's your word?

Is there a word that would describe you? I think at any given moment, we have a feeling that would describe us. Maybe not the only word, but one that just pops into our head. Usually, we can find an emotion that will describe how we feel during a particular event. Also, we would all associate that same feeling with a similar type event had we been experiencing it as well. So, as you read this, what is your word? For me, sometimes it is difficult to pick just one. Right now, I think it would be determined. I have made new and exciting things happen to me over the last two years and I am determined to see all of that new knowledge be used to make me and my life better. Perhaps in doing so, it allows others to do the same. I never know where this road will take me and I have to allow the heart to lead. My word will change probably in ten minutes, but right now, I am focused on the tasks yet before me that include something very new and exciting that I will begin this weekend. Believe me, I couldn't understand why this new idea came to me when it did and I had to share with a few people who also became excited with me. Every once in a while we get so caught up in the daily grind of work, family, responsibilites, life, etc that we forget to stop and think for one second. Sometimes I don't even get 30 seconds, so I need to make that time. It has to be important to me to know that not doing so doesn't make me more efficient, it makes me less efficient. I am better when I have many things in the fire, but spend a great deal of time tackling each one with great attention, all the time knowing that I gave that task my utmost attention and I didn't do it half-way. I gave it my all. What is your word? Remember, it will change.

More than I thought I could be

I keep pushing myself further. I have to. Not to please others or to accomplish some great feat. More for personal satisfaction. I have to. Every day, I become more than I thought I could be. Today, I didn't argue or give someone attitude even though we were doing something I do not like. She LOVED it. I was very much outside my comfort zone, but setting aside what we were doing, I was loving who I was with and that time together will be something I will always treasure. In fact, it might go on the "list." I know it probably meant more to me than it did to her, but that is ok. It was not supposed to mean anything, other than two friends taking care of some business that needed to get done. End of story. But, I am not sure that I can really say that and mean it. If that were the case, then I would not be typing this post. Maybe I shouldn't be. But somehow, I need her to know. Maybe she already does. I apologized for things she needed to help me with because I don't know how. But "sorries" are not allowed. I put myself in situations I would have long run from before because that was easier. I allow myself to become better, all the time. I have to be. Not for anyone else, but for me. When I started running on the days Rocky wasn't with me, I did more than I thought I could. I need to push myself, but in doing so I cannot lose sleep at night and need to forgive myself for not doing it all. I still need others to assist me to get where I need to be. We all need others to help from time to time. We just need to ask. And when we ask, we need to accept the answer. No excuses...no justification...no reasons why or why not. Someone told me that by allowing her to help me, it takes her mind off of her things. Funny, how that street goes both ways. Most of us succeed not because we did it alone, but because we accepted that we could not succeed alone. As much as we want to say, "I did it!", success always comes when others are right beside us, in whatever fashion or fit they make in our lives. Wherever they fit on our lists. I amaze myself when I glance back at where I was to where I am now. My life has changed a thousand times over and through it all, I would not change a thing. Because through it all, anything and everything, I am much, much more than I thought I ever could be.

Re-focused

I have to apologize...my attention has been elsewhere and have needed to come back to this place. You may ask, what lead to this slight delay? As silly as it sounds, it was a scale. My goal to lose 30 pounds will be over on October 1st and for the past week, I have become more interested in what the scale said. Yes, my running started with a weight loss goal, but people were reminding me of how I needed to view a loss of even 28 pounds as a success instead of a failure. I would view that as a failure. Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking more about the journey and not the end result and why the journey itself is most important. I am reminded to "Embrace the journey" everyday because of a bracelet I wear. Yesterday, I took time to write in my journal and had not done so for over a month. I have resolved not to get back on the scale until October 1st and whatever it says, I will be happy with. Thank you for your patience and especially to those friends who just want to knock me upside the back of head sometimes. You know who you are and I am grateful everyday of your support and encouragement. It is truly unbelievable. Sometimes, we have to take time to refocus and find "balance" to make it all work. Take time to do that and it becomes so much easier. Have a wonderful Wednesday!