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The G.I.F.T. 11-29-11

Hello, everyone...here is the summary from last month's meeting...

“I give to life exactly what I want life to give to me.”

Has anyone done anything different since we last met? Have you asked and answered yourself any of the questions? I shared with the group about my first big speaking enagement, a possible new opportunity that may come in January, continued reaching to other organizations, and the success of my blog.

We talked about fears and why we let them win. Why? Because it is easier to do nothing than it is to do something.

We do what is expected of us, even if we don’t want to. Look at your families who have generations that have the same vocation – firefighters, electricians, etc – Why do they pick the same type of work? Is because they love it too or because they are influenced by the people in their family? My parents are teachers. What happens if the message you are getting is different than the message that the family is sending to you? How do we know which one to follow? The easy one. The voice we usually follow is the one that will create the least amount of friction. Going against the grain is never easy. But if it is right, then the people that are against you will follow. Have you ever had someone want something for your life that you didn’t want? Do we still allow their voices to be heard over our own voice and heart? Why or why not? Who decides? Who should decide?

EXERCISE: Use your book. Write down five things people thought you should have done with your life. Write down the five things you want to still do. Most of the group could only come up with a couple for each and several people shared what they wrote down.

Quotes: “My intuition is always on my side. I trust it to be there at all times.”
“Each problem has a solution and all experiences are opportunities for me to learn and grow.”
“It is my birthright to deserve all that is good.”
“The past is over and done and has no power over me. Today’s thoughts create my future.”
“I constantly have new insights and new ways of looking at my world.”

Sharing our dreams: why is it easier to share with people we don’t know vs. our families? I shared again with how easy it was for me to admit that I was unhappy with my weight with Rocky when I first met her. Never told a family member or even someone I had known longer. Why? Because I thought she wouldn’t judge; she wouldn’t hold me accountable; she wasn’t vested in anything (yet); I thought it didn’t matter to her. I was wrong.

Knock on doors and share – open up.
People will wonder what your inner voice says to you and why. You know it when it feels right. You will fall in love with it. It will be difficult and make you do more than maybe you thought you were signing up for, but it will be something you treasure every day and twice on Sunday. It will fill your heart with such joy that you cannot imagine it not being here. It will be indescribable. Sometimes it is something that you never saw yourself doing, you have no knowledge about, but it calls to you. You have to answer.

What happens if something gets in the way? Because it will. And usually what you think it will be that causes you headaches, isn’t really a big thing. It will be something you never thought of – even the perfect plans can find a loop hole.

What is meaningful work to you? Do we think we have to choose between meaningful and your job? Can they be both? What is your dream job? Remind yourself of a time when you did something good? Maybe for someone else? How did it make you feel? Why don’t we try to do that as much as possible?

You have heard the phrase, “Life is not a sprint, but a marathon.” Should we train for it? How? 15 minutes a day is all it takes. Then you consciously choosing and dedicating those 15 minutes became something you don’t even think about – it becomes a part of you. I never thought that we trying to lose weight and "running" would become what I do and something that I love to do.

“I believe more in the chance of something new than the knowing in the guarantee of something old.” – Michelle Homme

The Right Track

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." - Dr. Wayne Dyer. Let's assume for just a moment that you are on the right track. You know where you are headed and seem to have it all figured out. But, you do nothing. You just sit there. Wondering what happens next. I know I must sound like a broken record, but hearing it over and over may make it sink in. YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!! Please do not fret, either. Some of you may thinking, "How do I know if I am on the right track?" or "What happens if I'm on the wrong track?" You can still make changes and figure it out as you move along. That is "embracing the jouorney." You will learn many things as you travel along the track you are on, and what you learn may not be anything like what you thought you would learn. Just sayin. You cannot just think and believe that your dreams will come true because you think they will or want them to. Wouldn't that be nice? Just wish for something, and it happens like magic? Sorry, the real world does not work that way. You have to work hard and put everything into it so that it will be successful. Let me get back to a question I had already mentioned in this post..."How do you know if you are on the right track?" You just know. You feel it. It becomes something that you are willing to devote your entire life to as you put your hands up and ride. You have to commit to something and if it is wrong, you will know it. But you have to learn that it is wrong so you don't have any questions. So, that door closes. Move on to the next one. Keep knocking on each one until the right one opens. When it does, you will see the right track in front of you. Trust it.

The G.I.F.T. 10-25-11

We had two new ladies come this night, so I quickly got them up to speed as to where we where from our first meeting. I shared a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The story of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."

I also shared a quote that I wrote back in January 2010 that I had forgotten about. I found it significant because of certain words that are grouped together that relate to these women. "Complacency is not something we can accept if we are trying to change our lives. It is a delusion that confuses us into believing that this is all there is or this is the best it will ever be. We cannot go on living stifled, unfulfilled lives. Our capacity to impact those around us cannot be contained, but will shower us in awe of greatness we have yet to find.

I asked the women to know the difference between what we do and who we are. What goals do you have for yourself? What are you willing to do to get there? What do you LOVE to do? I went over the six of the 20 questions that I ask myself most frequently. Life is here and it will go whether we choose to participate in it or not. What in your life can you change, even in the smallest of ways? Fear is what holds us back..."Knowledge is the enemy of fear." Look for signs...sometimes viewed by the self they don't add up to anything, but if you group them together, they can mean everything.

"If you tell a woman 100 times she is beautiful, she will never believe you. If you tell a woman once that she is ugly, she will always believe you." - unknown Why do we do that? Because we doubt. We don't think we are worthy or that we deserve it.

I shared the "SHUNS" from "the Passion Test"

*Intention - Your results will ALWAYS match your true intentions.
*Attention - What you put your attention on grows stronger in your life.
*No Tension - Something that you are truly passionate about will be something you do naturally. It will draw you towards it.

I shared with the group the signs I now see as what has led me there and the things I love to do.
"The magnitude of doing nothing to fulfill our purpose is far greater than any pursuing we would take fulfill that same purpose." - Michelle Homme

Suggested books: "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" By Dr Susan Jeffers and "I could do anything if I only knew what it was" by Barbara Sher

More than I thought I could be

I keep pushing myself further. I have to. Not to please others or to accomplish some great feat. More for personal satisfaction. I have to. Every day, I become more than I thought I could be. Today, I didn't argue or give someone attitude even though we were doing something I do not like. She LOVED it. I was very much outside my comfort zone, but setting aside what we were doing, I was loving who I was with and that time together will be something I will always treasure. In fact, it might go on the "list." I know it probably meant more to me than it did to her, but that is ok. It was not supposed to mean anything, other than two friends taking care of some business that needed to get done. End of story. But, I am not sure that I can really say that and mean it. If that were the case, then I would not be typing this post. Maybe I shouldn't be. But somehow, I need her to know. Maybe she already does. I apologized for things she needed to help me with because I don't know how. But "sorries" are not allowed. I put myself in situations I would have long run from before because that was easier. I allow myself to become better, all the time. I have to be. Not for anyone else, but for me. When I started running on the days Rocky wasn't with me, I did more than I thought I could. I need to push myself, but in doing so I cannot lose sleep at night and need to forgive myself for not doing it all. I still need others to assist me to get where I need to be. We all need others to help from time to time. We just need to ask. And when we ask, we need to accept the answer. No excuses...no justification...no reasons why or why not. Someone told me that by allowing her to help me, it takes her mind off of her things. Funny, how that street goes both ways. Most of us succeed not because we did it alone, but because we accepted that we could not succeed alone. As much as we want to say, "I did it!", success always comes when others are right beside us, in whatever fashion or fit they make in our lives. Wherever they fit on our lists. I amaze myself when I glance back at where I was to where I am now. My life has changed a thousand times over and through it all, I would not change a thing. Because through it all, anything and everything, I am much, much more than I thought I ever could be.

When life changes you

We get comfortable in our lives and settle into what we know. We like familiarity and being close to home. We are sailing smoothly and just riding the water, with no real danger or obstacle in our way. That does not usually last for long. But life changes, and therefore, so do you. I am constantly amazed at how different I am from one day to the next. Sometimes, it might be something big or substantial and other times, no one notices. I usually prefer that one. Life has changed me as I have allowed it to come to me. It does that every day. I made a couple of people very happy today and I loved every minute of it. I wish every day was like that. I helped a couple get to a doctor appointment with their newborn and I took Rock one of her favorite things for lunch. It is always a treat to surprise her and I love to see her smile. I always joke that I need to be "less nice", but I was told that it might be impossible for me to accomplish that. Yeah. But when you get to a point when are very excited about life everyday, then you are changed. I have received several nice comments from some wonderful women regarding the G.I.F.T. after this week's meeting and perhaps something I said or just the idea of the group itself changed some of their lives. I am not sure. But, we still try. Life has come to me in many different ways and I am not even sure that I could even tell you how. So many amazing people have become such great supporters as I chase my dream. My slim is there through anything and everything and I always look forward to seeing her and treasure every moment we are together. My husband is supportive, although not always completely understanding, of what I write and what this all means to me. Even my sons encourage me when new ideas come my way. I am better every day and give more of myself to those I love. I give more of myself even to those that I don't know and I will never meet. I am more grateful everyday to the chance to really live as I might have missed it. Has life changed you? Why? Why not? Have you given more of yourself to others? Life was not something that I treasured or appreciated. It was there. So was I. That was it, end of story. Not so much anymore. Now, I have so much to live for...because I am changed.

It's happening....

and I don't even know it. I do, but never in the ways that I would have planned it. That is when I remind myself that I can't plan it. Even if I try t, it will not work out the way it actually does. We all know that. Last night, I went to a concert with LL and KR and had a blast. It was a spur of the moment - decide right now - kind of thing and I said, "yes". Sorry, KR is I talked your ear off, but was thinking today about after the concert when we were partaking in those wonderful appertizers and how we had our own little "G.I.F.T." meeting without really intending to, but it just happened. I could see the wheels turning and am so excited about seeing on on the 25th. It can be more...we have this one life to live and we want to do it well, with no regrets. Before that, I had some crazy ideas so what do I do? I call Rock. After all, she is my Rock. But she is ok with that - she likes the "title" and the responsibilites that comes with it. Even though I KNOW what she is going to say, I still have to hear her say it. I need her and others to gently push me into pursuing new ideas and then it makes it less scary. When you have nothing to lose, then "Why not?" More to come later, but know that the wheels are turning here, too.

Life is about...

I was thinking yesterday about what great knowledge I was going to share next month and some talks I will be giving come up. I also remember telling some wonderful women that in reality (and,at least hopefully) that if my life is about half over, what would I say I had to show for it? I have an amazing husband that loves me dearly, three wonderful boys that do well in school, and a couple of other trinkets I have picked up in my 43+ years along the way as well. This past weekend I heard this quote in a movie (sorry, don't remember which one) and it has been with me ever since - "Life is 50 percent what you do with your life and the other 50 percent is who is with you." Therefore, there are two parts to this quote that you have to work on everyday. What are you doing with your life? Are you just getting by? Barely? Are you wishing you were someplace other than where you are right now? At this very moment? If not, you have to know that you can change your life. Now, if you have that part figured out, who is in your life that might prevent you from living the life you want to live? Why are they there if they drag you down? Making your life miserable is what some people live for. The reason they do that is because it is easier than having to change their own lives. "People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours." So again, we are back to choices...what do we want to do with our lives and who we choose to be in our lives. Sometimes, you have to weed the flower patch. It's work and when you make the right decision, you will have no regrets about it. Keep those people close to you that will always be your biggest fans and start living your life. WHEEEEEE!

Aftermath

This weekend, I drove up to see our oldest son play baseball and surprise him. In order for me to do that, I needed to use an interstate that had been closed most of the summer due to the flooding from the excess releases of water from a dam further up the Missouri River. As much as I was anxious to see what the vegetation and road looked like after being drowned in water for months, I also was very optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I saw dead trees and shrubs and where grass, weeds, and other native plants once grew, now there was a lot of dirt. A lot. There were farm fields that were still surrounded by a lake of water that had silos and other farm equipment that seemed isolated from any dry land. The life of those living things had been choked out of them. Yet, there is hope. As life does, it will flourish again. I saw the aftermath after devastation. I am reminded about a different kind of aftermath - the kind that comes after preservation of life. When people shine because they get their first job...when people succeed in accomplishing losing weight...when people give their hearts away...when they overcome a fear. People are awakened every day and consciously choose how they spend their day and those special people will leave an impression on you and the aftermath will be what is left. Sometimes, we feel like we have been swallowed by life with the people and events that have led you to today, where ISOLATION has become your friend. Your ONLY friend. But something or someone gets you out of that dark place and you start to see the light that can be you. You start to find HOPE and believe that it will be better. At times, I cannot find the words that I really want to say and I stumble through them with a garbled message that might be a little close to what I intended. It is easy to type words and easy to read them. It is more difficult to say them and hear them. You can create the aftermath that people see when you are not around. You can bring life into something that did not even know it was not living. People will still feel a connection to you that will never go away, despite distance or time. The outcome of what we all bring to this world...this one life in this one world...connects us always and will result in one thing. "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou. When you impact others' lives, you leave a little bit of you behind with them, and because of that, the aftermath that follows will change everyone else from that point forward.

The G.I.F.T.

In less than two weeks, The G.I.F.T. will begin a new chapter not just in my life but in those lives that come to experience what the G.I.F.T. has to offer. For those of you that don't know, I created the G.I.F.T. (with lots of help from friends - thanks, SM, for the name) as a way to gather a group of women so that we can find ourselves again. The G.I.F.T. stands for Greatness Is Found Together and begins on September 27th. I have work to do on what I will present that evening, but my vision for what comes from the interaction and sharing that develops may me different than what actually occurs as the group grows. Back in May, LL suggested that I start a women's group and I was excited about the idea and then dismissed it just as quickly. But the idea would not be denied and it kept nagging at me in different ways, through different people. So, in a matter of just weeks, I secured a meeting place and time, secured dates for a year, created, ordered and mailed invitations, and now, here we are. My husband did not understand why I was being pulled to hold this group but he focused on that I was "doing this me". That could not be more further from the way I feel and it was difficult for me to try to convince him otherwise. This blog is a way to share my ideas, perspectives, and beliefs about how we can all change our lives. The G.I.F.T. is a more personal, verbal way for me to do the same thing. There is a connection between people who see the same thing and want it for the same reasons. Our hearts connect us and when we forget, even temporarily, why we women need to revive our passions for our lives, we become lost. The G.I.F.T. is not my group or your group - I see it as our group. Women will come once and never come back again...others will come some time later...some will never come...and others will make it a part of their life. I am not sure if I am nervous at all, but I do know I am excited about this new branch of my life. I have to be willing to encourage others to see what I see, because this can also be theirs. But they have to choose it. But, as we all know, women are strong and sacrifice to others before they will take something for themselves. Here is a chance for you to say, "I am doing this for me and I am not going to feel guilty about it." I love to give (don't like the receiving part so much) every day. Even if it is a smile, a hug, or a card in the mail. I am taking my chance to give one more thing to you...the G.I.F.T. It just might be the next big thing and change your life forever. FDW!

Carpe Diem

Sieze the day! Do you know how? Are you taking advantage of everything that is in front of you, when it is in front of you? Sometimes, it is scary. It is so scary that you are not sure where to start and once you find the courage to start, will you be able to really hold on? I got scared this weekend. Stupid scared. But, unlike times in the past, I am not running. I am appreciating what I see...what I know...what I feel. When I see, know and feel then I feel less scared. I need to hold on but put my hands up in the air and let go. Hold on with my heart...let go of everything else. I can't have both. I cannot live in both worlds...I have to pick. I have to choose. I have to allow others to make choices as well. Even when those choices take me places I have never been before. Because I trust the choice. And I trust, absolutely completely, the person who makes that choice. I am seizing my day, every day. The courage and strength I need to get to the other side makes me better. It helps me grow and give more to others. I am going to take what is meant to be and run with it. I have no choice in that matter as it has already been decided for me. I am embracing my journey - as I was told to do so many months ago - and as someone very special once told me, "I am having the time of my life." It is here...it is now...it is having no regrets and never wishing you had done less. It is not being strong all of the time because you felt safe keeping it all in. It is letting people see YOU and truly showing the world who you are. "ACT AS IF IT WERE IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL." - Dorothea Brande. Grasp what you want...what motivates you...where your dreams take you...and hold on to them. They will take you places you never thought you would be. And you, too, can have the time of your life.

Groundhog Day

Some routines are good. Other routines, not so much. My morning routine is pretty consistent...get up at 4:30am, run/walk with Rock, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, get to boys' stuff in the evening. But we can also use those routines as a reason as to why we shouldn't change our lives. Our lives become so predictable that if people were really paying attention, they could set their watches to the same things we do in our lives. We become complacent and muddle through just to get to the next day and do it all again. Good grief. Aren't you tired of the same old record being played again and again? Have you ever seen the movie, "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray? The premise of the movie is that he is sent to cover Punxsutawney Phil to see if we will have 6 more weeks of winter or an early spring is coming our way. But a storm rolls in, and he quickly realizes that each day he wakes up and he is living the same day over and over again. He learns from the previous day what big water-filled pot hole to overstep, what people like to eat, etc. He has learned their routines and can predict what he will do based on what their previous actions have been. Do you want to live your life that way? I like variety...I like differences...I like spontaneity (to some degree). "It’s time to stop hiding from life and say yes to the adventure of being alive. Enough of the routine already. Go on, have an adventure. Do what you always wanted deep within your heart. Do what brings you alive and the universe will open doors when once stood only walls." - KS Are you ready to make that change? If not, then are you settling for the life you have because you have not yet committed to life you could have? Don't keep living your life in the same routine. Be open to new things that can change your life forever. Step outside your comfort zone, take a few chances, and smile today. Don't be a groundhog!

Invoking Change

You have been called this morning to invoke change in your life. Yes, I am talking to you. Don't turn around thinking I am talking to someone else. I mean YOU!! Here is where it begins...your new life. Today. Quit stalling and taking the easy road out. That gets you no where...and you deserve more than no where. Don't you? Yes, you do. I deserve more than no where. I would love to hear if anyone of you has made changes in their lives since reading this...even if I don't, I will still post. I will still reach out and encourage you to INVOKE CHANGE. Instead of believing that you have no control over your life and what is in front of you right now, you can feel powerful (no powerless) about what the day brings to you. You will be ready for it. Even through storms and someone else's chaos, you will hold stern and be ready for what comes next. I was visiting with one of my son's yesterday and he was frustrated and strives for perfection - every time. But only in sports. In every other aspect of his life (college, school, etc), he cuts himself a break. But not when he is pitching or golfing. I told him to show where someone won all of the PGA tournaments in one year or struck everyone out. It just doesn't happen. No one hits a home run every time they are at bat...no one sinks a shot every time the basketball leaves their hand. Control what you can. Change what you can. YOU can change your attitude and your effort. You have to believe it. Once your mind is in the right place, you can accomplish anything. Maybe not on the first try...maybe not like you thought it would look like...maybe not tomorrow. You have so many things to look forward to and why are you not looking forward to them? Because you are afraid and because it is easier to do nothing. And then they wonder why their life doesn't change...and they do not realize that they control that. What do you want out of your today and the time that you have been given? Do you want to stay stuck and be somewhere different? Change is difficult and makes us crazy at times and brings fear to the surface like never before. But what if?

LEAP!!!

There really is not a big message with this post, but in reading some journals, I came across some things I wrote over a year ago. When this was all still so new and I didn't understand it. I can't really say that I understand it better now, but things seem less clouded. Maybe something you draw from here will make it more clear.

We spend our time looking for something --
...something we cannot see...
...something we cannot learn...
...something we cannot smell...
...something we cannot hear...
It can only be felt. It cannot be found as it was never lost. But it is there - waiting for us to discover it. Once we do, it will never be stifled again. It becomes who we are from that point forward. Before, there were questions unanswered, doubts heard, and directions unknown. Although those still exist, where we go from here leaves us no way to go back to who we were. This is a new you. Your power and courage are undaunting and will radiate to those who need it most.

The pounding in our heart will be heard.
The hole in our heart will be filled.
This vision in our heart will be seen.
The passion in our heart will be felt.

We have to be willing to let it go. We cannot guide it - we must allow it to guide us.

The magnitude of doing nothing to fulfill our purpose is far greater than any pursuing we should take to fulfill that same purpose.

Complacency is not something we cannot accept when we are trying to change out lives. It is a delusion that confuses us into believing that this is all there is or this is the best it will ever get. We cannot go on living quieted, unfulfilled lives. Our capacity to impact those around us can not be contained but will shower us in awe of the greatness we have yet to find.

Leap. Take a step to change your life. You can. You have to want it, believe it can happen, and do it. Get your MOXIE on and be you!

What are you capable of?

Seriously? Yes, it is early and I am on a roll already. Although this comment was made to me in a different context this morning, it sent me here. Again. I pose these questions not just for my benefit but really to get you think...to ignite the light...to really question what you can do with your life. Ultimately, these choices are yours. How do you answer what you are capable of? Even if you think you know, do you REALLY know? I think it changes every day. For example, I never thought I was capable of running from here to the end of my driveway when Rocky and I first hit the pavement some 16 months ago. But as my stamina (and heart rate) increased, so did my ability to do more. Eventually, we went further with "10 more steps" and then could run a mile without stopping. I am in CONSTANT disbelief when I took a quick look at what I have done in the last 18 months. It seems almost like it passed in a blink and yet I could tell you a lot of things that I will always treasure. What do you want to do? I was just asked to participate in a triathlon in October. I am not training for one, so just the mere thought of actually doing it has my head spinning around like one of those rides at the amusement park. I am not dismissing the fact that I don't think I can do it and this is still the year of, "Why not?" - but can you say, PUMA? I was astounded today by comments made to me about what I did for someone without really even trying. What I did was not a goal I had in mind, nor was it something that I would trade for anything. But that was as reminder of what I can do - what I am capable of - especially as new versions of life present themselves. Do not settle on what you are capable of now, because it will change. Maybe it will surprise you in ways you never thought possible. Maybe it will generate the strongest passion in you so that you can live your dream. Maybe you don't have the answers yet. But, I promise you...if you keep asking the questions and trying (even through failure and unexpected disappointments)...if you look for support (even in places you never thought it would be)...if you just believe...you will find what you are capable of and change your life. You are capable of so much more than what you see right now. I am living proof of that and I believe it. So can you.

Are you numb?

Three in one day has to be a record. This thought came to me as I shared my passion with a co-worker today. I was reminded of what life can feel like when we are not really living -- you become numb to the world. You remove yourself from feeling anything. I did that for so long. Yes, I admit it. I had "checked out" and was going through the motions. Are you numb? Have you checked out? Why? Maybe if you ask yourself that question, it is not an answer easily found. Maybe it was a combination of things and you lost hope. You were not ready to take the challenge before you, so you made it work. So many people I see are numb. The anesthesia that they self-administer is much easier to deal with than changing something to make it better. It is easy. They become accustomed to an empty existence that gets them from day to day with tasks that neither encourage growth nor budge them into action. Why would you want to continue to do that if you knew you didn't have to? Here is the secret...come closer...yes, just a little bit closer...YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!! YOU CHOSE THIS LIFE!!! Eventually the insensitive becomes old and dies. Your heart is not meant to beat that way. You were born with feelings and a soul that should be open to what the world has in store for you. What are you SERIOUSLY waiting for? I can write all day long until you get it. It will take you 15 minutes to get started on where you need to be. You know it and I know it. You choose...aren't you tired of walking around with a dead sense to you? I am. And I am never going back to that again. Ever.

I refuse

I refuse. This is the name of a new favorite song and I need to be reminded of what I won't do from time to time. For example, I refuse to give away my power. Allowing someone else's comments, mood, or actions should not dictate what happens to me for the rest of the day. I will not let it. I refuse to take "no" for an answer. In my mind, it just means, "not right now". Someday, the answer will be "yes". I refuse to give up - ever. On anything. I love challenges and will keep fighting the good fight. I refuse to go back to my old life and the old me. It is not who I am now and although that life was good to me, this life is much more fulfilling and purposeful. I refuse to take on things or continue to do things that do not make me happy. My heart has to be in it for the right reasons for me to do it. My head saying, "I should" will not be enough anymore. Guilt has left the building. I refuse to worry about those things that I cannot control. I have to worry about me - and what I can do to make my life the best and love deeply. I refuse to do nothing when I know I can make it better and inspire others. I refuse to believe that my dream and the passion behind that dream will be in vain. It will change people - it already has. I have seen it, even when I did not realize it had. The key was that by being me, I was living it. Now, we are going bigger. Much bigger. I refuse to be perfect. I will make mistakes and learn from them and I will grow each time. I refuse to waver when things are tough, when people hurt me, or when I doubt because I overthink. This will motivate me to keep pushing through and know that although I may have come out of it with a few scars here and there, but I will be better for it. I do not know about you, but I get a sense of extreme power when I say the words, "I refuse." What are you refusing today? You can..try it. It will be a GREAT day...after all, it is FUN DIP Wednesday!!!

Your "BEST" self

This has come up in recent conversations in the morning when Rocky and I are out and it got me thinking. Why are we afraid to show the world our "best" self? Why is putting up walls and protecting more of our focus? Shouldn't we be willing to live our lives first and foremost, for us? Yet, we don't. We still believe other people's opinions before we believe our own. Why is it that we can totally be our "best" selves around some people and not others? The answer is very simple and one we probably would not like to admit - we are afraid and have been hurt before. Then, I started thinking about forgiveness and if these same people have hurt us, why don't we forgive them? Why is it easier to forgive some people and not others, even though the pain might have been just as grueling? I believe that I serve you and those around me and I am being my "best" self when I truly am just me. My heart sings (because I can't), my step is lighter (ok - maybe borderline skipping), and I am joyful. Truly joyful. I appreciate all that has been given to me and look forward to each new day as a gift. There are some people that I can just be my "best" me around and I don't think about it or label it. It just happens. I have visited more recently with women about where we are in our lives and why we think the way we do. We are so entrapped into our own web of shrugging off our dreams that we become complacent. We feel like we cannot stray too far and any slight movement in a totally opposite direction will be worse than if we had just stayed still. But that is no way to live. I existed that way for a very long time and although it is difficult to explain to my husband, I have to follow what my heart tells me to do. I have to always be my "best" self and be willing to take a lump here or there and fall because I will be better for it in the long run. Make this your goal today - be your "best" self in everything you do and everyone you see. It is not that hard because you know all the answers already and you have to trust them. Your attitude carries you through everything. Then, when the day is done, take a few minutes and look back and remember how you felt and how other people reacted to you. Why would you choose anything but that? I know you will smile when you give someone a compliment or a couple dollars to a complete stranger or you let someone use your phone because they are lost. You are your "best" self - but don't I deserve that? I deserve all that you are and will love it because it is what makes you you. BEST = Believe Everyone Stands True.

Changing lives begins with mine

Who would've thought that my life would turn out the way it is right now? My belief was always that I would take what was there, never really understanding that I could change it. I had to accept whatever was given to me and it was the way it was meant to be. I had a nice lunch yesterday with LL (I remember her name -- LOL) as we talked more about how our childhood and past really dictate some of our biggest fears that we carry later on in life. The funny thing is that you don't have to come from a broken home with no money to have the same fears of unworthiness and self-doubt. We all question where we belong, what scares us, and what we believe about ourselves inspite of our environment. That tells me something that is universal - we all have fear and question if what we do matters and makes a difference. I think now we are at an age when we will see it in our kids and want to try to help them get passed where we still are in our own lives. We want them to learn the lesson about hope and courage and passion earlier than we did (or are doing) in our 30's and 40's. We need to take on the committment and willingness to help those around us by guiding them into changing their lives and we can do that in the most simplest of ways...we change our own life. We cannot control what other people think or feel in thier lives, but we can impact them in greater ways than we ever imagined. I have changed my life (for good) over the last 18+ months and have noticed how that has impacted my relationships with other people, what dreams and goals I have for myself, and realized what I am capable of doing. But it started with me. When I started this blog, it was for me. I started looking at life in a way I never had before and it made me feel better about who I am and what drives me. Then I started saying, "Yes" to more things in 2010 than I probably ever had before. I began to let people see more of me and let the walls down. I started a very intense exercise program because I had to do it for me, not for Rocky. I still do it for me, but love it when she is with me. My heart started to tell me things that I had ignored and dismissed for years and I finally started to listen. I realized that I did not need to have everything planned out and that some times "Going with the flow" was ok, too. I was paying attention to what I thought was missing in these teenagers' lives that would be easy for me to incorporate, but could not at work. Then, the bigger cry was heard - the women who are just like me. Women who are trying to find their way, after feeling lost and alone for so long. I am taking on a new project that will be gratifying to those it touches and hopefully they will begin to change their lives. They will see the hope and dreams they have long forgotten. The biggest joy I have ever seen is seeing someone I love live their dream. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that? Change your life and you could very well change the lives of others as well. It Starts with you.

Snowballing in July!!!

Ok...trying to sit and catch my breath. Just for a moment. I am winding down after a crazy, whirlwind over the last 48 hours or so. So much has happened but in such a GREAT way. I have had two really good lunches with two ladies who are at the proverbial doorway or threshold and they are trying to decide if they have the COURAGE to change their lives. I know it is scary and you are unsure. Who isn't? But what do you have to lose? If you are unhappy now, why wouldn't you want to change that? Try something different...do something that you always dreamed of doing, even if other people might not understand. I am blogging my heart away most days of the week and working on other projects that are being carried by momentum that I almost cannot describe. One of my main focuses since August has been teenagers, and although that is still a big part of what I want to do, something related to serving women has taken on an exciting life that started as a crazy idea at the end of May. Here is what I think: we all have the same questions...we all have the same fears...we all have dreams. We are not so different even though we never meet, live thousands of miles away from each other, or speak different languages. We are more similar than we even realize. But instead, we think we are alone. We think no one else can feel or think the same things that we feel or think. The more I visit with women and open up the possibility of something that invigorates their soul, the easier it becomes. Not for me, for them. I told someone this week that I cannot go back and standing still is not an option either. Therefore, I am left with one choice and one choice only - to move forward. This new, exciting venture has me thinking about all that can be done and how can I play a part in it. I am not sure of my role yet, but I know I am getting very close to seeing something come to fruition that I never ever thought of before. I dismissed it...I had set it up to fail even before I even explored it. I was unfair to the opportunities that are before me at this very moment. I have to be open to it all, not just what I think it should be. I ask a lot of questions in these posts and they are meant to get you to think...yes, the hard questions that no one ever asks and are afraid to answer. What would happen if you had the courage to answer that question honestly? Would you commit to what is needed to be done in order to get what you want? When Rocky asked me the "infamous" question, I am not sure why she did. Maybe she doesn't know either. But I answered honestly, thinking I wasn't accountable to her, so what difference did my answer make? It made a lot of difference. She helped me and guided me when I needed it and then at some point, I had to take responsibility for myself. She couldn't do it any longer. I needed to be self-sustaining. And I was. Every time, I felt stronger and more committed to doing this for me. I could not do it for her. What are you choosing to do for you? You need to believe that you are capable of more. This can be the beginning of a new life - YOUR LIFE - and you can choose what happens from here. I have chosen and am committed to doing all I can to change my life. In sharing my life with you, perhaps you will find what you are looking for in yourself to change your life. Let's start the snowball rolling in July. Let's use this force to impact the world the way that we are really meant to and let our hearts guide us. WE CAN!!!