Don't live your life by the status quo

Are you in a rut? Where you just feel like you do the same old thing, and nothing ever changes? Even once you admit that you are in a rut, do you know how to get out of it? I have decided that the way it's always been is no longer good enough. I have mentioned to a few of you that this year is the year of "yes". What I mean is that I have been willing to say "yes" to more things this year than I have in a long time. I am trying new things and living outside the shell that I had created around me. Inside the shell, I could not get hurt, but I also could not experience life either. Take chances and be happy that you took them; not that you failed or that it didn't turn out the way you thought it would. I have mentioned previously that I have been getting up (before the crack of dawn) to jog about 4-5 times a week, sometimes with a very great friend. People have told me that they don't run...well, I never considered myself a runner. I would never put "Michelle" and "runner" in the same sentence, unless it was, "Michelle ran over a runner with her car." (I would never do that!) But I run and I feel so much better afterwards. I started slow and could not even run 2 blocks without getting out of breath. It was pretty sad. But my running partner kept encouraging me with her "just 10 more steps" (which by the way, really doesn't mean 10 more steps - it's more like 40, so I don't know where she learned to count). Now, I am jogging about 12 miles a week, sometimes more. It is what I do now to start my day and I really get upset when I cannot run at 5am. I know...it sounds messed up. I have lost 10 pounds since we started in April. In mid-May, my mind set changed dramatically. Part of it was watching a young man who was born with no limbs below his elbows and knees who was training for a triathalon. I could no longer make excuses. I yearned for something different in my life and I was determined to persevere. Running became that release and has allowed me to be more free than ever before. I have gone outside my comfort zone and continue to challenge myself and make that comfort zone bigger each day. Regardless out the outcome, continue to push yourselves to do more today than you did yesterday. I promise you will be so happy that you did. Just tell yourself - 10 more steps! Have an awesome day!

Determination

Some of you may know that I have been getting up most mornings at 4:45am and jogging/walking, sometimes with a friend. Before that, I cannot tell you the last time I really committed myself to an exercise regimine. Since my boys were born, almost 20 years ago, my priorities have been elsewhere. Trying to be everything to everyone else, I put myself last on my list. No more. I have come to realize that I am no good to anyone else unless I start taking time for me. Without guilt. I know that it is hard sometimes for us women to do that. There are some mornings that it rains and I cannot get up and run and I feel like my day will not be as good as if I had run. Isn't that interesting? I never ran in high school, and yet now I get up and run about 4-5 times a week for about 12 miles (probably more). I am more determined to continue this newly found activity as it betters my health and I am seeing results. Even my husband called me "skinny" - I know I am thinner but probably not skinny. I am continuing to push myself to go farther, even if I am not running with my friend. I cannot go back. I am reminded of Dr Kevin Elko's comment about people will tell you what they want very easily, but won't tell you what they are willing to get there. I told someone that I wanted to lose 20 pounds by September. I am determined to do just that. I will continue to work hard and get up early. I have not been on a scale yet, because if I do, the number may not be as low as I would want, and then I will get mad and disappointed. You all know what I am talking about. Keep working hard. Success will be yours!

Doing something we don't want to

Yesterday, I shared my thoughts and fears with this friend I spoke about in my previous blog. I was very honest, upset, vulnerable, and just laid it all out there for her. Only she and God know what she thought as I shared some of my deepest thoughts and worries about our friendship. She told me that she did not want to make me feel uncomfortable and make me do something that I did not want to do. Guess what? That's exactly what I needed her to do. I needed her to make me do something I was reluctant to do. She has been doing that for a few months now. Think about it - from when we were small children, our parents pushed us to do our chores, told us to get good grades, that we needed to practice our instruments. We didn't want to. For what purpose? To teach us a lesson, to make us better, so that we have something to look forward to, etc. In life, that never ends. Now, we have bosses that want us to do our jobs right, kids that need to be taken to soccer practice, etc. It never ends. But the best part is that it should never end. Those people in our lives that make us do things we don't want to (or are reluctant to do) are doing us a favor, but we don't like it because we didn't ask for it. So, sometimes, that makes us mad and resentful. I have to be willing to "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" instead of feeling the fear and running away. If I do that, I never get better and never change my life. I felt stronger yesterday and even today, because I was so honest with her and have decided to let her in. Her husband says, "It is what it is." I agree. Whenever you feel like you are doing something you don't want to, try to find the benefit for you. I am sure there is one.

Retreat or stay

I could not sleep last night. I am encountering a new frontier and at my age it is something I have not had in almost 42 years. As I look deep into my soul, I realize that I have never really had great, close friends. Sure, I am friendly with people, but do not let a lot of people see the real me. I care deeply for those around me whether they are co-workers, neighbors,etc. I try to remember important things in their lives to show that I care. My belief is that if you care about someone and something is important in their life, then the something must be important to you. By great friends, I mean really spend time together outside of your normal interactions of work, kids' school, etc. This means going to lunch, shopping, playing golf, going on vacations, sharing your dreams, your frustrations, etc. I have never done that with anyone other than my husband and it more than terrifies me. I probably over think the easiest of things and I know why. I just have to fix it because I want to fix it. I went shopping with a friend yesterday and we had a terrific time and enjoyed lunch as well. I cannot tell you the last time I did that. After I got home, I was very unfocused. I had things to do and all the time in the world to do them. I took a nap and did a lot of nothing, but my brain was still turned on. One half of my brain kept telling me to retreat - back away from this friendship before it goes anywhere. Almost immediately, another voice told me to stay because I have run away too many times in the past and I did not want to continue to do that for the rest of my life. Because if I run, I am not being who I want to be - I am being who I was and I know I am different now. It is not fair to this friend who has been caring, honest, and giving and I really do enjoy our time together. For as little of time that we have known each other, it feels like we have been friends forever. I have to be willing to let her in and take the wall down. I read my mission statement everyday because it reminds me of where I came from, where I am now, and where I so want to be. I have a saying in my office that I wrote, "Do what's right, not what's easy because doing what's right is never what's easy." It would be easy to retreat - but I know I have to stay because that is what is right.

Try something new

I sit here on Saturday morning thinking about the day ahead of me. Crazy as it may sound, I am trying something new with a friend in a few hours. Most of my life, I have been one who didn't want to depend on anyone, so I did most everything by myself. No, it is not because I am an only child - I am actually the oldest of 4, on my dad's side. I learned independence at a very young age and was very reluctant to ask for help, and even became angry when someone would offer to help me. Just ask my husband when we were first dating and working at the grocery store together in California. I interpreted accepting help was a sign of weakness and did not want to appear to be weak. Now, I see it as a sign of strength because it is when we swallow our pride and allow others to come to our aid that we actually become stronger than we were before. Also, we learn what our true limits are because some of us believe we can do anything. Even Superman needed Lex Luther, his archnemesis. Superman needed Lex to test his abilities and learn what devious plot he could foil. I am in unchartered territory for me and it makes me nervous and hopeful at the same time. Is there a question about whether or not I will survive this huge ordeal? No. Should it be this big of a deal that I am taking up space and time writing about it? No. But all new things we encounter and experience make us nervous and excited all the same. More often than not, we usually have a good experience - unless you compare it to my first of two massages I have ever had. That will have to be another topic for another post. Point is, be willing to try something new - even at the urging of others - because at some point we all have had to try everything we like now in order to find out that we like it or don't like it. Make a journal of the things you try during a week and write down your reactions. Plus, it is always fun to look back at when you first tried something. Have a FANTABULOUS day!!

Give a compliment, a smile, or a hug

There are so many times we are too busy to smile at someone you pass in the grocery store aisle or to even give a hug to a loved one. We need to take time to give a smile to perfect strangers or give a new friend a hug. It is even better to give a compliment. Have you ever seen someone's face light up because at that moment, you cared more about them than yourself? I love the saying about how people might not remember what you did or said but they remember the way you made them feel. You will make them feel important, if even for a moment. It is so rewarding to take the first step and go outside the comfort zone and say good morning to someone you don't know. I wave to people in my neighborhood and the lots of people as I drive around town. My boys will ask me, "Who was that?" I'll say, "I don't know." Now, I admit, I am better at giving than receiving - always have been. But I am working at it. I am trying to be better at thanking someone for noticing me and making me feel important as much as I try to do the same. I want to encourage you all to keep giving it away. We are never too poor to afford a hug, smile or compliment. They are free to give and can keep giving. I promise the more you reach out, the more comes back. Give it a try!