All in!

Ok, so this saying came to me over the weekend and I have been meaning to share it with you, but when I would think of it, I didn't have access to the computer or was rushing out the door. This attitude of "All in!" is one I have embraced as another motto for life. I am not much of a gambler and was not watching any poker on tv this weekend, but this still came to me. This applies to us - to our lives - to everything we desire and we have to have faith when we are committed to say, "I'm all in." It means that I believe, 100%, without a doubt that whatever I have is the BEST thing out on the table. We believe this so strongly that we are willing to chance losing everything as we have no guarantee that what we have is the best. But we have to be willing to lay it all out there. If we don't, we will never know. Sometimes, the "chips" we have at our disposal changes, because we win some and we lose some. Sometimes, even when we think what we have what it takes, someone else has been dealt something better, but we have is still pretty good and the luck just didn't fall our way. The hardest part is waiting for everyone else to show us what they have after we have decided to go "all in". We are anxious and nervous and almost cannot breath as we anticipate our fate. It can feel like time literally stood still and we "hurry up and wait". Is there something in your life that you hesitate about...that you want to commit to all the way, but are afraid of possible outcomes? You have to let go...commit all the way, without ever going back or regret, and HAVE TO go ALL IN. I have played it safe my entire life, living in a glass bubble, being protected. Now, I have plans to put all of my fears (ok, most of them :-)) aside and finally, finally, live all in. It is so liberating to say and be free of those self-imposed chains that I was shackled with for so long. I teetered on the fence about letting Rocky in and realized that I was making myself have motion sickness because of my indecisiveness. I had to choose. It was either keep to the status quo or do something different. I chose the latter and told her that I was "all in" with her today. No going back...no regrets...no safety net. Not that she didn't already know it, but I said it out loud (so it is real). At lunch, another possibility came my way unexpectedly and we will see where that takes us. As much as my stomach was turning because of the excitement and nervousness, I calmed myself when I reminded that I was "All in!" Be willing to take chances and be willing to accept when things don't go as expected, because regardless of the best planning, something will find a way to challenge you and question what you are made of and what you believe. Every struggle you face is meant to teach you a lesson...what are you supposed to learn? Find your Moxie and Go All In!

Strength

We have all been broken at one time or another in our lives. We have all felt sorrow, pain, grief, and sadness, too. Perhaps even some of us have felt so much pain, that it comes to us when we are alone, where we need to go. Have you ever felt like you have been in this place, when you are in the shower, on your knees, bawling? Like a baby. When there is nothing left to give, until you give it all away? Until you let it go? You cannot stop until you are done, but you have to get through it to get past it. Maybe you haven't been there, but you have been close. I have been married for almost 22 years and since my parents divorced when I was young, I wanted to ensure that my marriage lasted - for good. My husband and I believe that our marriage is the foundation of our lives - nothing else works if we don't work. Not our kids, not our jobs, not our bills, not our house, etc. NOTHING. If the foundation to your life is not strong and held together by love, understanding, compassion, and trust, then nothing else will work either. We raise to the occassion when we are pushed to see how much we can take. We are stronger than we think we are...we find courage when we are afraid...we believe in hope against all odds...Where do you find your strength? In books? In movies? In church? In friends? Do you ever look to find it within yourself? Some people forget to look there. Start there first, because sometimes you can stop there. Be strong today!

Determination

Some of you may know that I have been getting up most mornings at 4:45am and jogging/walking, sometimes with a friend. Before that, I cannot tell you the last time I really committed myself to an exercise regimine. Since my boys were born, almost 20 years ago, my priorities have been elsewhere. Trying to be everything to everyone else, I put myself last on my list. No more. I have come to realize that I am no good to anyone else unless I start taking time for me. Without guilt. I know that it is hard sometimes for us women to do that. There are some mornings that it rains and I cannot get up and run and I feel like my day will not be as good as if I had run. Isn't that interesting? I never ran in high school, and yet now I get up and run about 4-5 times a week for about 12 miles (probably more). I am more determined to continue this newly found activity as it betters my health and I am seeing results. Even my husband called me "skinny" - I know I am thinner but probably not skinny. I am continuing to push myself to go farther, even if I am not running with my friend. I cannot go back. I am reminded of Dr Kevin Elko's comment about people will tell you what they want very easily, but won't tell you what they are willing to get there. I told someone that I wanted to lose 20 pounds by September. I am determined to do just that. I will continue to work hard and get up early. I have not been on a scale yet, because if I do, the number may not be as low as I would want, and then I will get mad and disappointed. You all know what I am talking about. Keep working hard. Success will be yours!