Sunday, October 3, 2010

I shake my head in disbelief

Do you ever stop and think about some things and just wonder how you got there or here, which ever it may be? That you really cannot remember all of the things you did to get you to this exact moment in time? But then, when you look back, you know you took steps because there would be no way you would be there without taking those steps? That is me today, and on most days. We ran in the Race for the Cure today and it was chilly, but it was nice to see the sun out. I was susprised on how short 3 miles was, but very glad to be done, needless to say. The bigger picture for me is more than a morning run, but that is a part of it. The morning run has become a way of defining me, yet 5 months ago that was not even part of my vocabulary. As I reflect on the days I have had, none seem more important than the ones I have had over the last 9 months. I am encouraged by a friend who is listening to her heart and am so proud of her and excited for this new chance at fullfilling her destiny. She never knows how I talk about her with others and what she means to me. I thank God for her every day and I always find it funny when I explain how we met. She told me just recently that even her husband wonders how we could be such great friends in such a short amount of time. We simply cannot explain it. I am humbled when a friend is recognized for doing what she does to make her community better by fullfilling her destiny. I am grateful for a husband who supports me when I take time for me, which in turn makes me better for everyone else. Sometimes, just to catch my breath, I am in awe of it all. It seems so simple, yet also feels like it took forever to get here. I have learned patience and compassion, and love it all. I am pursuing an idea about sharing some of these ideas with others in a bigger venue, and hope it comes to life. In my mission statement, I say that I did not feel that I was worthy of more, and I think that still sticks with me sometimes. I have caught myself when I self-sabotage with a comment where I put myself down. I am thankful for so many things in my life, and more I have yet to treasure, and I think for so many years, I never told myself I deserved more. I told myself that I should be happy with what I had, since it was more than most people. I have been blessed in many ways, and am reminded to not lose sight of that. That is one reason why I shake my head in disbelief. Truth is that this is here and I am embracing all that it has to offer. Last week, someone saw me and yelled, "There's my inspiration." I never thought of myself that way. Thank you for continuing to believe in me. I believe in you...

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