Ocean of regret

Are you out here? On this particular vast ocean that never seems to end and you can't even see the shoreline anymore? Where you just drift, day by day, at the mercy of the winds and currents that you have no control over? Do you want that for your life? Most people can't get off the ocean because they allow the ocean to dictate what happens next and the past keeps them out there. I have never really lived with regrets, but I certainly take charge of what I want more than I ever did to guarantee I don't start now. I used to be one that would just let things slide, even if it bothered me or I disagreed with someone's opinion. Not anymore. In fact, DM told me that she has noticed that change in me since she has known me. I might get myself into trouble when I open my mouth, but I will not swallow any more regret for keeping my mouth shut. What regrets do you have? Why do you carry them with you? Because we think we have to, but we really don't. We are led to believe that we have to carry them along their best friend, guilt. Unless you find a way to let go of both, they will follow you along, just like a piece of ribbon on your pants, secured there only by the static that brought the two together. Get out of this vast oceean as it can lead you to drowning in self pity and sorrow. Swim to shore...use the oars you are given...but get off the water. Let go.

Regret and true forgiveness

I have noticed that I have been writing more frequently on the blog, than I usually do. Maybe it is related to the inability to get out and run, and my mind hasn't used up all it should in the hour of running I would do. The elliptical is only 30 minutes. That makes rational sense, doesn't it? I was visiting with my mom yesterday, and she started to reminisce about how she wished she was a better mother to me and my brother when we were younger. I told her that she did the best she could with the knowledge she had at the time. So did our dad, even though they divorced when we were very young. Too long of a story to get into now, but I believe that we can always wish we had done things differently. I told her that instead of saying she wished she was a "better" mother, she should say "different" mother. Different doesn't mean good or bad. My childhood was less than perfect and perhaps some of you can relate. Some of you might not be able to and that is ok too. Be patient with those of us that have things we have had to work through. Sometimes it takes longer than we think. I told my mom that I hold no grudges (grudges do you no good - keeps you holding onto the past) and that I have forgiven her. When I wrote "I give you permission", I actually wrote it for a co-worker, but did not realize how applicable it was to my own life until I read it out loud. A couple of weeks ago, I felt like I needed to apologize to a friend. Now, I did not tell her why because she would tell me that I didn't need to, but I need to do it for me. I simply told her, "I'm sorry" and all I asked her to say was, "It's ok." She did and I felt better. She still does not know why I needed that, but we all need forgiveness in our lives. True forgiveness is an awesome gift you can give to someone else, when they need it most. When you hear about a grieving mother who has lost her only child and she forgives the careless, intoxicated driver - that is true forgiveness. When you forgive, do you give it all from your heart or do you say it but don't mean it? It is very difficult to let go, but we have to forgive. Guilt can eat at you until the day comes when you are broken, sad, and unfulfilled. I just realized that today is the day we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr...someone who practiced great forgiveness in times of great anguish. I encourage you to truly forgive someone this week who might have done you wrong...let it go and know it is easier when it comes from your heart.