Ocean of regret

Are you out here? On this particular vast ocean that never seems to end and you can't even see the shoreline anymore? Where you just drift, day by day, at the mercy of the winds and currents that you have no control over? Do you want that for your life? Most people can't get off the ocean because they allow the ocean to dictate what happens next and the past keeps them out there. I have never really lived with regrets, but I certainly take charge of what I want more than I ever did to guarantee I don't start now. I used to be one that would just let things slide, even if it bothered me or I disagreed with someone's opinion. Not anymore. In fact, DM told me that she has noticed that change in me since she has known me. I might get myself into trouble when I open my mouth, but I will not swallow any more regret for keeping my mouth shut. What regrets do you have? Why do you carry them with you? Because we think we have to, but we really don't. We are led to believe that we have to carry them along their best friend, guilt. Unless you find a way to let go of both, they will follow you along, just like a piece of ribbon on your pants, secured there only by the static that brought the two together. Get out of this vast oceean as it can lead you to drowning in self pity and sorrow. Swim to shore...use the oars you are given...but get off the water. Let go.

Love is...

Love is deep... Love is forgiveness... Love is holding on... Love is being there... Love is not keeping score... Love is honest... Love is saying what you need to say... Love is no regrets... Love is letting go of the past... Love is a smile... Love is faith... Love is acceptance... Love is trust... Love is a hug... Love is A & E... Love is difficult... Love is giving... Love is apologizing... Love is patient... Love is listening... Love is getting through... Love is strong... Love is life... Love is a CHOICE.

Being frightened is a good thing

I know we might not think so, but I think this is true. I mean, when we are a little on edge and nervous, we are paying very close attention to what is going on around us. Not having all of the answers and being in a new place take us where we have never been before. If we are always in the status quo, then we never do anything new, never feel anything new, never learn anything new, etc. We don't have all of the answers, and not knowing what is just around that bend that is waiting for us is a great thing. We should be ok with the rollercoaster ride we are on and put our hands up as we travel the track of life. Just like the ride, there are parts where we anticipate the long upward climb, as we hear the gears on the track inching us closer to the top. Then we travel downwards, at speeds we are sure we are not meant to travel, with twists and turns, and minor bumps, and everything else it will throw our way. But during that time, we might be afraid and scream (some of us more than others), we might laugh, we might smile. But, all in all, we love it. We are no longer afraid and don't have regrets about letting our fear win, but relish in the fact that we had a great time. I remember when we went to Cancun last year and we were ziplining and rappeling through the jungle and how my family seemed timid when traveling down the cable about 8 stories above the ground. They were cautiously waiting to grab the cable, and then there is me.

Loving every minute of it, perhaps a little afraid, but really opening myself to enjoying what I was doing. This is what life is about. Really living it. I still find it so amazing when I finally started living my life, instead of being afraid of life. I had done that for so long and I refuse to do it again. Be frightened...it just may be the most fun, bestest time, you have ever had. And because of that you will treasure those memories and you will have no regrets.

Did it!

Last night was my first big public speaking engagement in front of about 300 people or so. All day, I went around getting "knuckle touches" from everyone I saw to carry the excitement and momentum going into last night. Ok, ok,...it was really about not getting nervous. Funny thing is that I wasn't nervous. Even when I got there and sat on the stage for about 20 minutes prior to the start of the program. Even when I knew people in the audience. Even when I heard my bio read and saw my name listed in the program. Then, I started reading my speech. My voice never cracked, but I could tell that my left hand was shaking when I spoke those first words. Since I was standing behind a podium, I am not sure the audience even saw it. Then, something happened. As I continued to read and look into the audience every so often, it stopped. My hand stopped shaking and I began to feel so at ease that I knew that I was born to do this. Please understand that I am NOT a spotlight seeker. People that know me know that I shy to turn the attention away from me. In fact, when I introduced Rocky to L one night, one of them commented about me being special (or something like that), and Rocky was agreeing with L and I quickly turned their attention back to the task at hand. I can talk all day long about those things that I am most passionate about and last night was no exception. I was told later by a couple of friends that I did a great job and also received some nice comments from others that attended. But last night was not about me being on stage or about any compliments that came my way. Last night was the start of something bigger. Last night was the first of many speeches yet to come. I told someone once that any potential invites that come after last night is what terrified me the most. Because that would mean change, but today I feel different about that. Today, I feel that whatever comes as a result of last night will be just fine. If nothing happens, then I am very grateful and glad I had the opportunity to speak last night. No regrets. If anything, I hope the words I spoke last night triggered something in anyone to look at their life and move forward in better and bigger ways than ever before. If that happens to one person, then it would have been worth it. If it doesn't, then it was worth it to me and I can say, "I did it!"