Got burned

Last night, I received some disheartening news. One of the kids I have worked with received new criminal charges. I am not supposed to know so when he tells me for himself next week, I am to act surprised. I am still upset, but ultimately he made a bad choice and now he will have to deal with the consequences. You may be asking yourselves, "Why is Michelle putting this negative stuff out there? This is a motivational blog." This is why - this is a check for me. I need to read my Mission Statement every day. It is what helped me stop being angry and disappointed last night when I got the news. Because I like this kid and want him to succeed, I felt like he didn't care about what I might think about him doing something wrong. Truth is - it's not about me. Then, I had to ask myself, "Would I have done anything different with this kid had I known he might make this kind of choice?" Maybe - but I didn't know and I had faith in him that he would make good decisions going forward. I love my job and working with the kids and even though I cannot change them all, I am reminded of the "Starfish story". In short, this little girl come along this beach and finds all of these starfish on the shore and she picks each one up and throws it back into the ocean. An older gentleman comes upon her and tells her that she cannot possibly save them all. She very simply tells him she will try to save all she can. She keeps trying and giving it her all. Even though I got burned, I will continue to do the same. Sometimes we get burned to see what we are made of - whether we are in it for the short run or the long haul. I'm in it for the long haul.

Two in one day!

Post #2. As my wonderful day continued yesterday, May 5th, a colleague stopped by my office as she does just about everyday. We casually say hello and see how things are going. I told her that my day was fantabulous and she said her day was good. I asked her what was wrong and the next thing you knew, we were sharing with each other like never before. I know it sounds funny to become so open with someone you don't really know, but somehow, for some reason, it was there. I shared with her where I am, and she kept saying that she was saying very similar things just recently. She has hit a blockade and cannot get past it. After work, she and her story kept coming to mind. I said a little prayer for her and drove to pick up my middle son from church. As I sat there and had about 10 minutes to wait, the next thing I knew, I wrote her a poem. This is titled, "I give you permission" and is also found on this blog under the page of the same name. When you give someone permission freely, you are telling them it is ok. I was very excited to give it to her today. I called her, and told her that I wanted to give something to her and she could do with it what she wanted. She briefly told me that she mentioned our conversation to her husband and he quickly asked, "How long have you known her?" Sometimes, we cannot explain it. Women are different than men and don't need a rational explanation for all things to make sense to us. I have not heard back from her yet, but hope it helps. Even if nothing else, she has permission from me to let go and move on.

I need to apologize

Someone mentioned to me the other day that it has been some time since I last wrote. It has not been because I have stopped this process. In fact, I have reached a new level which I will share with you in a moment. I have never stopped thinking about what responsibility I have now if people know about what I am doing. I am not just accountable to myself but I am to them as well. I have started to get up early (4:45am) twice a week to work out with a friend. We enjoy each other's company and it is a great way to see the sun come up. I want you to know that I have been very busy reading on how I can be better and what changes I need to make in myself. With all of the questions I have had, I was searching for what to do next. So of course, the book titled, "I could do anything if I knew what it was" has been extremley helpful. It forced me to look at why I am the way I am, using my childhood as reasons for my disposition. Then, something amazing happened to me yesterday. I wrote the Mission Statement for my life. It has it's own page on this same blog. I could not get the words on the paper fast enough and as quickly as they came, I spent no time really even questioning the words and their meaning. It was like they were just there. My day was "FANTABULOUS". I know that it is a made up word, but when I said it, people looked at me different. Even those that did not know I wrote a Mission Statement. I was so excited, I called two friends and read it to them over the phone and then I emailed it to them. It is emotional and raw but it is there. Take a look and let me know what you think.