Keep working it...

Gosh, it is so hard sometimes not to want to give up. To throw in the towel and just walk away. And be done. Forever. It doesn't matter what it is and sometimes we are faced with if come to that conclusion and there is no other way, WHEN do you decide to do it? When is the RIGHT time? Is there such a thing? What happens if you are wrong? I have said before to NEVER give up...not ever...even if it makes you raw and hurt. But what if you want something different now than you did before? Is it wrong to want that something different? Will others around you understand and support you because they love you? Even if it dramatically changes things? I will keep working it until I get told not to or the sign is so HUGE that I cannot miss it. I am not ready to give up. Is there something in your life that you want to be different, but not sure how? It doesn't have to be a big thing...start with something little and see where that takes you. I am in awe when spring comes (I say this as I look out and see snow everywhere) and the little seeds start to break free of the blanket of dirt that surrounded them and they grow. Every year, certain plants routinely return to BLOOM and show the world that they are still here after months of lying dormant, forgotten, and left unattended. Maybe that is a little how I feel...a little dormant, forgotten, and receiving little attention. But I will keep working it so when the time is right, I too can show the world that I am still here.

Remind me...

I believe that God works His way into funny, little bits into our lives without really getting a lot of attention. But those little bits when put together can mean something more. One of my new favorite songs is, "Remind me who I am" by Jason Gray. When I shared it with Rocky, she told me, "You're my Sista Ho". That always makes me smile when she calls me that. She's my Sista Ho, too. On our walk today...yes, we have spent more time walking and talking than actual running...I kept thinking that I don't want to forget even the smallest things that make us laugh. I sent her a text over the weekend that I knew would make her giggle and it was sent with that sole purpose. Like two little girls, laughing and loving who we are to each other. I don't want to forget to say the things I want to say or smile to someone that I don't know. I don't want to get lost in my own little world that I don't pay attention to anyone else's. I wanted to be reminded of what life is like and how unfair it can be to us at times, that we still perservere. We still do all we can while we can. Then, as we neared the end of our route, Rock asks me to listen to a song. Remember, she has no idea that I have had the thought in my head about not wanting to forget. I listen to a song that has "remind me" in its chorus - it's about the desire to go back to the way things used to be. I understand why she had me listen to it...but we all need to be reminded from time to time. To reflect on the way things are, why things change, and what we are willing to do to get back to those things or make them different. Remind me of where I was so that I know where I want to go. Remind me of who I want to be so I can give the world more of me. Remind me of what we can open our eyes to so we can never be blind again. Remind me to put the walls down, for keeping people away creates distance and disconnect. We all need reminders from time to time...I use a calendar to remind me of the next day's tasks. I use a phone to remind me of someone's phone number. Let's make a deal...you remind me and I will remind you. That way, we can never forget.