**FOR UPDATED POSTS, GO TO WWW.CONSTANTCHANGETODAY.COM**This journal is my way of sharing with you life's ups and downs and experiences we all go through. In life, there are no head starts or second chances as we all begin at the same place. Changing your life can be simple and it can start today.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Constant challenges
They are everywhere. I find myself knowing what needs to be done, but am still being the ever "cautious and play it safe" girl I have always been. Some situations require that, but most of the time it is just in my head. I need to continue to remind myself of everything that I want to change, but am afraid to. Afraid of disappointment, of failing, of getting hurt, and the list goes on. It makes me sad when I think about how I could be, but deep down I know I am not there yet, completely. Most days are better than others, but when given new challenges, old habits want to creap their way back in. I have to find ways to overcome and keep those old thoughts away so that I can continue to be the person I need/want to be. I have reminded others lately that I do not like any attention on me. A co-worker asked me earlier this week if I had been losing weight. I shrugged it off and said "maybe". You and I both know the answer, but as much as I was grateful that she noticed, I also just wanted that conversation to be about anything else, but me. Even talking with my boss about my upcoming review makes me feel uncomfortable. Not because I expect any surprises or anything bad, but I don't want the the attention. Deep down...I know I need to let go of this fear and accept the challenges and need to quit trying to run from them. Doing so only leaves me back where I was, not further ahead, where I want to be. This is so hard, but I know will be worth it. Have an AWESOME day!
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