Get real!

A few days ago, I mentioned that I was feeling a little lost. Although, I no longer seem to be stuck at the truck stop today, I have started moving, although I am still unsure of where I am headed. In recent days, I have put the wall up that I have spent 40+ years perfecting but I know it's purpose very well. It's cause is not something specific, but I know when I put the wall up, it is because I create questions, then have doubt, then get scared and finally, want to retreat. It is a defense mechanism to protect me so that I feel like I have control of what is around me. This morning, I could not sleep and was up at 3am. The wall came crashing down with tears. My brain keeps trying to tell my heart what to do because that is the way the heirarchy has worked for me up until about 10 months ago. Every now and then, the brain tries to rule the heart and that is a huge mistake, when I let it win. When I let my heart rule, I am finally real. Good, bad, and ugly and everthing in between. I am accepting of what "Get Real" means after years of not saying it; although it was a popular term when I was growing up. A friend told me she would rather see tears in my eyes than the wall. Whatever tasks come your way, whoever you pass today, remember to "Be Real!"