Now or never

What are we waiting for? We have to be willing to do something NOW! I have said from the get go that it starts today, and there is a saying that says, "There is no time like the present." What about now? Right now? Not a little but later in the day, or the ever given, "I'll do it tomorrow". Now. People think it has to be something HUGE that needs to take place before anything changes. It doesn't work that way. It takes 15 minutes...one step...one hug...it can happen today. Believe that everything you say, do, and believe matters. It affects what happens next and can influence others to do the same. Today, SM reminded me that she "loves my MOXIE" - and it is people like her that makes me reminiscient of why I am here. What my purpose is, what my focus is, and what comes next to me. We talk alot about putting our hands up and riding the rollercoaster ride...all the way through the ups and downs, the turns and twists around hidden corners, the slow-motion times to the fast-lane events. We have to take it all - we cannot just pick to have only the good. Gotta have it all. A&E. Act now. Say now. Believe now. Dream now. Embrace now. This life is something we need to take full advantage of and we have to do it now. Don't ever live with regrets, because what we usually regret is what we didn't do. We ran out of time...we couldn't find the courage...we hesitated. As I would say to my sons when I call them or ask them to do something..."Now means now." Just saying.

"Anything worth doing...

...is going to be difficult." This is something from a movie that always reminds me of how things SHOULD be, not necessarily the way things ARE. This movie is centered around a character who does not like following the rules. He is surrounded by people telling him, "That is the way we have always done it." and things like that. But what gets him really thinking is when a woman in the emergency room is begging to see her daughter who has been seriously injured in a car accident (where her husband and son have ben killed), and the nurse is refusing to let her see her little girl until the mother fills out the "necessary paperwork". Are you kidding me? Seriously? That is when "Patch" really starts to see what SHOULD be. He starts to invision what's possible. How exciting!!! He wakes up his colleague and literally starts talking almost as fast as he is thinking with ideas of what he sees and what SHOULD be. She tries to disuade him and discourage him because it will not be easy. Then, he says, "ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT." What are you doing or want to do that is worth it? Understanding that it will not be given to you because that would be easy. It will be difficult and you will have to fight through everything that wants to hold you back - whether it is your own doubt and fear of the unknown, negative feedback from others, lack of funding, or seeing the end result but not sure how to get there. Making it difficult makes it worth it. And your dream and you are worth it. Believe it.

Feed your soul

How many times do we forget or neglect to do that? I do. I get caught up in the daily grind of work, my family, responsibilities, and laundry. Yes, laundry. Then, I run out of energy and get lethargic. I need to be rejuvenated and then I am ready to take on the world. Kitty - A little Fun Dip on Fun Dip Wednesday, doesn't hurt either? Did you have your Fun Dip today? I did. My heart is thirsty for giving and my soul is hungry for giving it my all. I need to take care of those needs so that I can be better tomorrow. Another milestone recently with my willingness and accepting of people and how they treat me, care about me, and love me. Living with no regrets hasn't been easy, but I am beginning to realize that in order for me to live my "true" life, I cannot have any regrets. I have said what is in my heart, even when I was afraid beyond everything I trusted, when I wanted to say it. Without the fear on how it would be received and what could or could not be said in return. Every time, I am true to me, I feed my soul. When I put the walls down and stay, regardless of what the unknown may show me, I feed my soul. My thirst for being more than I was even a minute ago is quenched by knowing that I matter so much to someone that the mere fact of my being born brought tears to someone. My soul is fed when I visit with kids and women and encourage them with carefully chosen words that literally put me into a sense of what I was meant to be. In basic circumstances, I take the chance to remind others that just because that something is the way it is, that it doesn't mean that it should be that way. Games that are played are smoke screens for people that are afraid to really be who they are, so they continue to take part. Your soul is a part of you, just like everything else. You must care for it genuinely and repeatedly. If you do not, it will lose its value and will shrink and lose its purpose. The ache you feel when you ignore the pleas from your soul can haunt you forever. It never goes away and then you have to live with regrets. Who wants to live that way? Especially as you near the end of your life, provided you have time to look back on it? Since we should not ever take things for granted, live your life NOW. Feeding your soul costs you no money, but must be replenished from time to time. You have to want something different and do what it takes to get there. The rollercoaster of life that we are all on is awesome....but you have to get on the ride and everyone has a ticket. Feed your soul. You may feel like you are going to be sick, but that is just fear talking. "Excitement is overriding the fear" and you will never have any regrets because you can say you did it. Feed your soul. It will make all of the difference in the world...I promise you that.

What to do...

I was hoping today I would get more answers to the questions I have, yet that was not to be. Now, I have even more questions. Every scenario is playing out in my head and not sure what decision, if any, needs to made at this time. Not even sure that this is the right time to make such a decision. When I was asked a couple of weeks ago what my decision was going to be if this presented itself, I made it very clear what my decision would be. Now that I could be at that exact point, I question. I have to dig deep...I have to trust my heart...like never before. I have to be willing to lay it all out there, never sure of what tomorrow brings. I visited with an old friend today at lunch and it was so good to catch up with her. The funny thing is that we have actually known each other for years, but never really did anything socially like going to lunch before. It was nice to see J and hear what was going on in her life and share what was new in mine. Later, I sent her a text telling that it was a great lunch and she told me that I make her smile...I told her that was easy. I like easy. I read recently that nothing makes you feel better than knowing that the smile someone gives to you is probably a result of you giving them one (or something like that). I know that the answers are there for me...if I let them appear. But I have to be willing to accept them for what they are, even if I am afraid. It is hard to let go and wonder. I asked for signs all day today, hoping that the answers would come. So far, I have not seen any, but will definetely keep my eyes and ears open. Maybe they will come tomorrow when I run. Sometimes, that doesn't help - I end up with more questions. I have to have faith and believe in something not yet secure or definite. That can be hard to do. I have to believe it in order for others to believe in it. Wish me luck...stay tuned for more later. Have a wonderful evening.

Listen to your heart

I have been wide awake since about 3am my time. I am not even sure why. I am anxious to get back out and run again this morning as the temperature is a balmy 55 degrees. YAY!! I am sure my inability to rollover and get more shut eye may have something to do with some of the work I have to do for these new ventures/projects, but do not really feel overwhelemed by them. I have no expectations (other than I expect to do them well), but really whatever happens after they are done is ok with me. If it is something that gets done once and then we move on, I am ok with that. However, I think they may actually lead to other avenues yet to show themselves. In fact, as I was telling a friend yesterday about these new ventures, she wanted to include me on her list of possible classes that her clients would need to take. We will see. I just know that the more I share more of my passion for helping kids and adults see what life has to offer them, the more I feel alive. Like I am finally giving the world my self, my true self. I have hidden it for so long that I was asked recently that if I had to choose between putting money in my pocket or following my heart (with no guarantee of money), I would have to pick following my heart. I have told this same friend that it is not always about money, and it isn't. You can make more money, but you cannot always follow your heart. Money cannot guarantee your dream coming true. Pursuing your dream and making it a reality will reward in more ways than you can ever imagine. You feel alive...you feel happy...you feel complete. I have said that I cannot stop this momentum and have to at least say I tried it. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't. Maybe it works out better than I ever imagined, or maybe it crashes beyond all repair. I have to try. Do you have something that is tugging at your heart that you have to try? That just seems to be nagging at you, even though you have tried to ignore it, but it will not go away? It will keep presenting itself to you in an attempt to get your attention. When are you going to listen? You have to quiet your mind and listen to your heart...it will take you where you need to go. Be brave. Be strong. Hold true to what you believe. Listen to what is being said. Then act on it. It will never go away until you do something about it. You have to try.

Life changes!

In one day, I think my life has dramatically changed in a matter of a couple of hours. This morning,I went for a run with Rock...we are starting to get back into our regular routine. It was great weather and I cannot wait until temperatures are more consistent where I don't need two pairs of gloves, long johns, a stocking cap, and a heavy jacket. She asked me if I felt any different about my life since taking some chances in the last two weeks. I told her, "No" because essentially my life is the same as it was before I took those chances. Nothing had changed. She told me that she thought I was different than I was two weeks ago - I asked her to explain. She told me that she doesn't hear the doubt and questions that I had before. She is right...I don't have them. Have you ever felt like you are on a wave in the ocean, but you don't worry about getting sucked under the water and fear of drowning; you don't think about how long you will be riding the wave; and you don't think about what others will think of you if you fall off the wave??? That is where I am. Today, I had a lunch with an aquaintance that I met through work, but we have never really sat and visited with each other before. I had mentioned to her previously in an email that I wanted to share my vision with her and what kind of impact I thought it could make on our community. Within 5 minutes of hearing my idea, she told me that she wanted me to be on her team to help her with something that she is doing. We agree that we can pull our resources and make it better. It was so exciting!! Last week, I had also reached out to another source that could help with a similar vision with a different audience and I received some very complimentary words today. I have some tweaking to do on some things, but we will get together in May to go over everything in greater detail. The crazy thing is the implementation for both will take place probably this fall. Maybe instead of saying I am on a wave, maybe it would be more appropriate to say I am in a whirlwind right now. It is so hard to explain this to people who are not there, but I can see it in those that are there. I can see the way their eyes light up and they get excited hearing me talk and share like there is no tomorrow. Momentum is an amazing force that will carry us where we want to go. I just never thought it would be here, but I am going to love this ride!

Thinking about what I am doing

Today started like any other day. I got up to go run and only after I was dressed and heading out the door did I look at the current temperature that said it was 13 degrees with a wind chill of less than 0. Too cold for this runner. I went back to bed. Within an hour of my day at work, a co-worker comes in to my office and asks for two minutes of advice. She seemed rather perplexed so I gave her my full attention (and probably more than 2 minutes). She asks me how she can stay motivated when her running routine (preparing for a half-marathon) has had some "wrinkles" in it and she is thinking that she will not be prepared for it. She tells me she very methodically looks at the regimine and where she should be and does not feel that she is there. I tell her two things - one, she needs to stop thinking so much as she has become preoccupied with her goal of not walking at all and two, she needs to forgive herself. We chat a little bit longer and I give her a hug and send her on her way. A little bit later, she sends me an email asking me if since that kid lost his self control a couple of weeks ago, if I had thought twice about what I was doing. I first told her that my answer might have been different if I had gotten hurt, but also acknowledged that we take chances and that I was not going to live my life in fear of the unknown. I had done more living in the last year with trying new things, conquering fears long buried, and being hurt by a dear friend. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I was inquisitive, so I asked her what she meant. She mentions that perhaps I should give advice to others and get paid for it. She jokenly tells me to send her the bill. What do you guys think? I am really trying to listen to my heart and let it guide me. For too long, my mind has been leading the way and it has not been fulfilling. Over the last year, my heart has led and I finally started living. I need to keep asking the questions...one day the answers will come.

What are you waiting for?

In the last few days, I have been reminded of how fragile life is and why we can never take it for granted. A family member had a stroke and I am unsure of her prognosis and two other people I know have been diagnosed with cancer. That got me thinking...I know, people sometimes get nervous when that happens. I have already asked you to figure out your dream. I also want you to start identifying who is your support team or "dream team". Then I want you to ask yourself, "What am I waiting for?" What happens if all of the things you are waiting for are waiting for YOU to do something first? I have decided I am tired of waiting and of being afraid of not doing something to make my life better everyday. I don't even know how I would answer this question. If I had to answer it, I would probably say, "I am waiting for everything to be ok." Everyone would wait for the guarantee - then there is no risk involved. Guess what? No one can tell me that. No one can tell anyone that. I have to take these chances with writing on my blog, with reaching out to others, with pursuing my dream and following my passion. I want you to know that I am in "GO MODE." My family knows exactly what that means. Now, that may be partly because of the time of year, but I am done with waiting. I have waited what seems like a lifetime to get me where I am now, and it has only been 12 months. I am no longer just going to let life happen around me, but I am resolved to make sure that I am being an active participant in my life. It amazes me how much fear stops us from doing anything that is new, different, or out of the ordinary. Ok...here is your challenge this week:
1. Write our your passion
2. How can your passion fullfill your dream
3. Who will help you?
4. What are you waiting for?

It is amazing how when you write things down (even if you never share them) you see the words and it is as if someone is reminding you of where you want to be. Be honest and truthful...you can always email me at michelle.itstartstoday@gmail.com if you want to visit more. I would love to hear from you! Make it happen!