Rollercoaster ride

Ok, since we are on this rollercoaster of life, how are you on this ride? For a long time, I held onto the bar with both hands, with my knuckles turning white when situations or people caused stress and disappointments. The more I held on, the more I didn't feel the joy of the ride - I was too busy being afraid and hoped (ok, maybe prayed) that this ride would soon be over. That didn't happen, but I did not know what else to do. I never allowed myself the exhileration that came from the excitement of the ride itself. It seemed like every time I tried to let go of the bar holding me safe and put one arm above my head, I wouldn't give myself permission to smile or have fun. I was all business. Little moments...yes, tiny itty bitty moments would come and go, but I would dismis them, never relishing them and keeping them for very long. And who hasn't gotten sick or felt sick while they are on the ride itself? Where you just want to lean outside your car, and let the butterflies go, so to speak. When you don't live to take chances, then what do you live for? Then, at some point, you start putting your hands up above your head for those things and start to really "love the ride". It is not that you don't think about holding on to that bar, but putting your hands up feels all right too. You start to comprehend that you will not fall out, but the pure adrenaline starts to overcome any fear you may also be feeling at that same moment. We all have moments like these...where we have to be careful; are tempted to hold and let go at the very same time; let go and maybe also are going to be sick; or just roll with it and let what comes your way be your blessing. Life is a rollercoaster ride...you have the ticket...sit down...lock the bar down across your waist...and put your arms up. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!